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Wolf Blitzer has the CNN Election Center. Adolf Hitler had the Eagle's Nest. We had the Hyatt Summerfield Suites in Scottsdale, AZ, and it was every bit the first-class news gathering operation you would expect from the folks who brought you "Movie Aliens Who Look Like Genitalia."

For six straight days and nights, we covered Super Bowl week up to the minute in our underwear, battling mild temperatures and errant Fritos stuck to the backs of our legs. No man should live like this, especially any man hoping Mike Ditka takes him seriously with a tampon stuck to his jacket.

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Everyone, editor and Hottie alike, pitched in for the war effort. Except Jimmy. He spent most of our time in Arizona pissing out of his ass.

More sub-human conditions once you jump the shark...