Affliction makes their sophomore debut this Saturday, January 24, with their Day of Reckoning pay-per-view. On the menu is a blockbuster main event between the No. 1 heavyweight in the world, Fedor Emelianenko, and one of MMA's best boxers Andrei Arlovski. Originally scheduled to face Arlovski for the No. 1 contender slot, the Babyface Assassin Josh Barnett, who is now facing Dutch wildebeat Gilbert Yvel, recently called us up and we pummeled him with questions about cars, comics, and cackling color commentators. (Oh, alliteration. What would we do without you?)

We haven't seen you in action since July. What have you been up to?
I'm still in pro wrestling in Japan with the Inoki Genome Federation (IGF) and I had a match with them on November 24. The only really, really fun thing I got to do was install a Whipple supercharger kit on my '07 Mustang up in Seattle. I put a whole bunch of suspension mod stuff from my sponsor.

Do you do a lot of car work?
When I can—it's certainly time consuming. A couple of my biggest sponsors Lethal Performance and Whipple Superchargers are car companies. I grew up doing bracket racing with my dad, it was a family thing. We'd work on the car together and then go out and race on the track pretty much every Saturday, sometimes Fridays too. I've been in love with cars ever since. Nothing's ever good enough when you buy it off the showroom floor.

Your parents must've loved you a lot then, huh?
Hold on a second now. I never got any of these cars. These were their cars. I didn't even get to drive them actually. The '64 Cyclone car, I've driven that one; I'm friggin' 31 years old now—it's about time I've driven one. The '66 Mustang, never got to drive that. The '64 Falcon Sprint, never got to drive that one either.

Do you still own those cars?
Some of them. We have the '66 Mustang  and the '64 Comet Cyclone. The racecars are all gone. The Comet, it's really a loose interpretation of a street car. There's no radio, there's no speakers, there's not much to it at all.

Does it have wheels?
It does have wheels and it does have two seats of all things. But, it's got a really amped up small block and it rocks. It's a pretty fun ride. I started my own car collection, considering the only car I inherited from my parents was a '78 Ford Courier, a pick-up truck, on its last legs.

Speaking of being on tenuous footing, there were moments where it wasn't known whether your next opponent Gilbert Yvel was going to get licensed. Does potentially having a different opponent throw in at the last minute affect your training?
I suppose it could, but I have supreme confidence in my abilities and my training. As far as I'm in shape, I'm not too concerned about who they throw in there. It's going to be a bad night for them.

What are your keys to victory against Yvel?
My key is really to just go out there and crush him. Get on him, whether it's on the feet or on the ground, and just impose my will from the get-go. It's a matter of taking opportunities when they arise.

You've said that Yvel has "shoddy tattoos." Please elaborate.
[Laughs.] Oh, I dunno. Tattoos are all a matter of opinion. I just met with him on InsideMMA's TV show and he was talking about how a lot of them were done by friends for free. You have to believe that, even when your body is full of them, there are a few on there that'll have him saying, "I don't even remember how I got that one." You know what, as long as he's okay with them, I don't care. It's not my body.

They give you more things to aim for, no?
Yeah, they can all be little bulls eyes.

Who rocks the baldness better: UFC promoter Dana White or Affliction promoter Tom Atencio?
Tom Atencio, by far, because it's not a tough guy kind of bald. Dana, to me, looks like he's from one of those Guy Ritchie movies, or at least he wants to be.

Tito Ortiz is doing color commentary for the Affliction: Day of Recking pay-per-view this Saturday night. I asked him to unveil a catchphrase for us, but he was a bit shy. Want to help him out a little?
How about something plain ol' simple as JR from the WWE: "Ohhhhh my Goddddd!" or "What a slobberknocker!" Any of those will do. I'd be surprised if he talks about anything other than himself, to be honest.

Ouch?
It pays to be funny!

Okay, let's play a game. If you were not in MMA and had the power of God, what fight would you put together for the Heavyweight Championship of the Universe?
Well, there are a lot of good fights you could put together. At first, I was thinking about mere mortals, but since I have the power of God, why don't I start creating matchups like, oh I don't know, Apocalypse from the X-Men vs. Dark Seid the Destroyer.

Who'd have the advantage in the ground game?
Uhhh, that's really hard to say because Dark Seid has a lot of energy-based attacks and he's super strong and nearly invincible. Apocalypse destroys worlds. Now if there was someone like Dr. Strange, there wouldn't be a ground game because he'll just turn the ground into water or the air. Then what're you going to do about it?

If you had a superhero name, what would it be?
I really don't know. I'll go with my Warhammer 40K obsession and say The Warmaster.

Would you wear a cape?
If it was attached to, say, my armor. Otherwise, no.

Well, onward ho, Warmaster!