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Congresswoman Corrine Brown—once again proving that nearly everything terrible can be traced to the state of Florida—has a special message for her hometown Gators football team. What follows is a speech/massacre that leaves Gator fans scratching their heads (note how she gets every player's name wrong), Florida State fans snickering in glee (they love pointing out Gator fan ineptitude), and the English language bloodied and lifeless (how can a pre-written speech contain that many non-words?).