 |
| Do ya feel lucky, salary cap? |
Steve Francis, PG
Main offense: Pouted his way out of Vancouver, Houston, Orlando, and TBA.
Years left: Look for this 29-year-old to dribble out the shot clock on the perimeter for four to five more solid years.
Skills: He can easily top 20 a game, and, when he wants, involve his teammates on dribble and drive kick-outs. He's also more explosive than a Taco Bell value meal.
Best fit: The troublemaker just needs to regain the drive he showed when he fought through recurring migraines for Rudy T. Between accepting coach Bernie Bickerstaff, a host of defensive and athletic role players, and a bottle of Advil, Charlotte could stay out of the lottery with the ball-dominating star.
Bonzi Wells, SG
Main offense: If spitting on people is wrong, Charles Barkley and I don't want to be right. Bonzi's been suspended at the high school, college, and professional levels—which is more than I can say for most so-called superstars.
Years left: Another perimeter guy, 30-year-old Bonzi will have enough arm strength to throw his headband into the stands for four more years, easy.
Skills: Not only does he bring the threat of a double-double, but he brings energy off the bench. When he's healthy, few slashers can attack the basket—or fans—as aggressively.
Best fit: Golden State already seems to have plenty of head cases, but most of them are terrified of the paint. Bonzi's driving ability would be the perfect complement to the team's penchant for jacking up quick threes. They might want to get rid of that college coach, though—Bonzi would eat him up quicker than you could say, "Latrell Sprewell incident."
Ricky Davis, SF
Main offense: Apparently, it's not cool to miss on your opponent's hoop just to get the rebound and land your first triple-double. I wonder what kind of backlash he'd receive if he'd actually made the shot.
Years left: The 26-year-old has plenty of gas in the tank. Expect eight more years of post-dunk hootin', hollerin', and cursin'.
Skills: He's added a steady midrange jumper to his ferocious highlight slams, not to mention a fearlessness in crunch time that fits perfectly with a big presence inside who can draw double teams. In fact…
Best fit: Give him one more year with KG and company out in Minny and see if they can't prove GM Kevin McHale didn't make a terrible McStake.
Zach Randolph, PF
Main offense: Playing for Portland should be enough, but this overachiever also decided to sucker-punch then-teammate Ruben Patterson in practice, effectively ending his season.
Years left: A 6'9" 24-year-old with outside touch? This is one overpaid head case who looks good to not just Isiah Thomas.
Skills: Solid offensive rebounding makes up for the fact that when he gets it inside, it's not coming back out. If he learns how to pass out of double teams, he could rule the paint.
Best fit: Chicago needs a post presence more than it needs Michael Jordan to unretire for the third time, but Randolph can't pass or play defense—the two most important things in Scott Skiles' life. (His family ranks a distant third.) That leaves the Suns, who haven't played defense in two years and definitely need some more muscle inside.
Michael Olowokandi, C
Main offense: For most of us, one too many drinks means a night on the bathroom floor spooning with the toilet. For the Kandi Man, it means being Tasered into submission by the Indianapolis police force.
Years left: This is the toughest pick, because while the rest of the guys on this list have shown serious potential over extended stretches of playing time, the Kandi Man plays with less heart than Eddie Curry. The best thing you can say about the 31-year-old is that his lack of production led to a lack of playing time, which means he's still got plenty in the tank.
Skills: He has a combination of size, touch, and hair rarely seen in today's big man.
Best fit: Detroit. Hell, if Darko can win a ring there, so can anyone.