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| Man, the NBA never calls palming anymore. |
Event: Slam Dunk Contest
Contestants: Andre Iguodala, Philadelphia; Nate Robinson, New York; Josh Smith, Atlanta; Hakim Warrick, Memphis
Favorite: Josh Smith has been there and done that. ("There" meaning "dunk contest," and "that" meaning "been the only bright spot for the Hawks over the last two years.")
Wildcard: The novelty of Nate Robinson is worth tuning in for, but he's short and he plays for the Knicks, so he's still got two things going against him.
Winner: Based on what I've seen Andre Iguodala do in games, be prepared for him to launch into some jaw-dropping crams with nobody guarding him.
Event: Three-Point Shootout
Contestants: Ray Allen, Seattle; Raja Bell, Phoenix; Chauncey Billups, Detroit; Dirk Nowitzki, Dallas; Quentin Richardson, New York; Jason Terry, Dallas
Favorite: You'd have to be a fool, or Damon Jones, not to believe Ray Allen still has the smoothest J in the league.
Wildcard: Raja Bell spends every game in an offense that's based on a shooting drill, that's got to get him something…
Winner: …and that something is a second place finish behind Dirk. Always pick the guy on the hot team, and right now, Dallas is hotter than the Hooters intramural softball squad.
Event: Skills Challenge
Contestants: LeBron James, Cleveland; Steve Nash, Phoenix; Dwyane Wade, Miami; Chris Paul, New Oklahoma
Favorite: LeBron has built his young legacy on an all-around game, so why doubt him in this test of WNBA-approved fundamentals?
Wildcard: Chris Paul may be young, but the runaway Rookie of the Year's confidence could boost his skills just enough to pay the bills. (That first round rookie contract probably helps a little, too.)
Winner: I hate picking repeat champions, but while Nash frequently misses hair appointments, he doesn't miss mid-range jumpers, which is the only area in the course that might slow up the other contestants.
Event: Shooting Stars
Contestants: Who cares?
Favorite: I dunno.
Wildcard: Are you still reading?
Winner: Anyone who changed the channel
Event: Rookie Challenge
Contestants: The league's best teenagers
Favorite: The guys who can't grow mustaches yet.
Wildcard: The guys who can't buy beers yet.
Winner: Look for Chris Paul to put the Sophomores in a slump.
Event: The actual All-Star Game
Contestants: The league's two conferences go head to head for…bragging rights? Man, if only this was baseball.
Favorite: I'm sticking with Shaq until he starts losing.
Wildcard: Craig Sager's suit.
Winner: Only David Stern knows.