5. Mississippi State
Coach Sylvester Croom is a likable guy. But when you turn in a 9-25 record after three years on the job, it may be time to put your house on the market. Losing isn’t new to Mississippi State: If you were a toddler when they won their last SEC title, we hope you enjoy cashing that Social Security check.

 

4. Washington
Things are tough when other coaches give interviews about how much they’d love your job. Well, Jim Mora Jr., send in your résumé. Coach Ty Willingham has put up 7-16 in his first two seasons here. This year he’s betting on redshirt freshman QB Jake Locker to lead the team in its first-ever 13-game schedule.

3. Syracuse
The Orange have won only one Big East game since 2004 and haven’t had a true quarterback since Donovan McNabb and his mom took their comedy act to the NFL. In place of talented first-round draft picks, look for the university to litter the country with even more sports broadcasters and drinking games.

 

2. Stanford
We know Stanford likes to think of itself as the Harvard of the West. But does it need a shitty football team to prove it? During last year’s 1-11 season, the players embarrassed coach Walt Harris by quitting on him. New head coach Jim Harbaugh, the former Bears quarterback, has his hands full—with losers.

 

1. Duke
Welcome to the house that Roof built. Last year the Blue Devils went 0-12. Coach Ted Roof’s losing streak now stands at a nation-high 20 games. And what’s in store for this season? How about a tougher schedule for his outclassed outfit, including away games against Notre Dame, Florida State, and Miami. It’s just another action-packed season of Dookie football!