Dumbest Baseball Fines Ever

Barry Bonds
The Home Run King is probably the biggest cheater in the history of sports. Good thing Major League Baseball nabbed him last year for wearing oversize wristbands. We can now rest easy knowing that $5,000 fine took a real chunk out of his $18 million salary.

Florida Marlins
Back in 2003 when they hired old-as-dirt manager Jack McKeon, the Marlins failed to give Commissioner Bud Selig a list of minority candidates qualified for the job. That's a no-no, and the Fish were fined $250,000. The Marlins got their revenge by winning the World Series—and then sucking for the next four years.

Albert Belle
It's been too long since we've heard "Albert Belle" and "dugout tirade" in the same sentence. That's what earned the Indians slugger a $50,000 fine back in 1995 when, before a World Series game, he bitched out NBC's Hannah Storm for being in the dugout. But in all fairness, does anyone like Hannah Storm?

Deion Sanders
While celebrating the Braves NLCS victory in 1992, Neon Deion marched over to Tim McCarver, dumped a cooler of ice water on him and earned a $1,000 fine. Why? Timmy had been critical of Sanders' attempt to be the first person to play in a baseball and football game on the same day. On the bright side, McCarver's nipples had never felt so alive.

Bret Saberhagen
The "ace" of the Worst Team Money Could Buy, Saberhagen reached into his bag of practical jokes and found a doozy: splashing a reporter in the Mets' clubhouse with bleach. Under league pressure, Sabes "donated" a day's pay to an eye-injury institute—and a little piece of us died when we learned Bret Saberhagen made $15,384 a day.

Dave Kingman
Dave Kingman didn't like the criticism heaped on him by sportswriter Sue Fornoff. So he did what anyone would do: bought a live rat, tied a note to it saying, "My name is Sue," gift wrapped it, and sent it to her in the press box. His punishment? A $3,000 fine and never being voted into the Hall of Fame by baseball writers.