9. Jeremy Mayfield
Races without a win: 59
Once a two-time dark horse qualifier for the Chase, Mayfield fell so far in 2006 as to blame a girl for his midseason ouster from Evernham Motorsports. Shrewdly, he's begun preemptively thinking about who he'll blame this year. Early candidates: Gene Haas, Steve Bartman, and daylight saving time.

8. Mark Martin
Races without a win: 74
The best driver never to win a Cup championship, who made his NASCAR debut three years before Aric Almirola was even born, has now been reduced to sharing the No. 8 car with him. Which is a pain when Aric wants to use the car and has to clean out all of the Werther's wrappers first.

7. Joe Nemechek
Races without a win: 115
The man nicknamed "Front Row" Joe for his gift for taking the pole on qualifying day has spent the last several years smoking it on race day. He hasn't started in the top two since 2005, and at this point in his career, this habitual turn burglar is lucky to even make a race.

6. Elliott Sadler
Races without a win: 130
Sadler dumped his scruffy goatee and bushy hair for a cleaner look this year. No reason you shouldn't look respectable when you're finishing 28th.