Kyle Blanks
6'6", 285
Baseball position: First base/outfield
Projected football position: Offensive tackle

Surely pitchers must salivate over throwing to the Padres first baseman/outfielder, whose strike zone is as large as any of the aircraft carriers docked in America's Finest City. Instead of Blanks carrying his 285-pound frame -- sweet '70-style afro and all -- into the outfield to chase liners in cavernous PETCO Park, he should be opening running lanes for LaDanian Tomlinson. Who wouldn't love to see that monster of an afro tucked underneath the lightning bold-clad helmet of the Chargers? Perhaps the Chargers' key to wrangling one more MVP-like season from LT can be found spitting sunflower seeds and shagging fly balls at PETCO.

Jonathan Broxton
6'4", 295
Baseball position: Reliever
Projected football position: Offensive guard

Alright, so Broxton has turned himself into one of baseball's finest closers with 35 saves through his first 40 chances in '09. Yet he could save himself the inevitable wear-and-tear to his right shoulder by protecting the golden-armed quarterback on whatever football team he chooses to play for. After all, his work as a hurler must give him the instincts to protect a similarly strong-armed player at any cost. That would include using his Popeye-like forearms and tree trunks for thighs to hold off any potential QB killers.

Billy Butler
6'2", 240
Baseball position: First base
Projected football position: Tight end

How many snarky "Billy's the only butler who eats the food before serving it" jokes do you think the portly first baseman has endured during his baseball career? 500, 1,000? Butler could be using what has to be a load of pent-up frustration to pancake opposing linebackers and defensive backs. (That is, until he begins thinking of pancakes.) Plus, he could transition his notoriety as an offensively-minded baseball player into a sure-handed receiver who needs only the scent of pepperjack on the pigskin to corral any pass within his vicinity.

Joey Gathright
5'10", 185
Baseball position: Outfield
Projected football position: Wide receiver/Defensive back

It's just not working for Joey. After nearly 900 games split between the Majors and Minors, it's apparent Gathright hasn't matured into the dependable, energizing player that similarly-speedy Juan Pierre has become. (Yeah, that's tongue-in-cheek.) So far in Gathright's career, his brightest accomplishment was the ridiculous YouTube carjumping video that you and your friends have hopefully not attempted to replicate. It's time he embraces his unbelievable speed and jumping ability to become the second coming of Devin Hester -- or would Hester be the second coming of Joey Gathright since he's two years younger?

Todd Coffey
6'4", 240
Baseball position: Reliever
Projected football position: Special Teams, Long snapper

Here's a mental image of his unusual tradition of entering a game: Think Ron Burgundy sprinting in a baseball uniform from the bullpen to the mound. Even players on the field can be caught snickering as the lumber jack-looking set-up man takes part in what has to be his only strenuous exercise aside from carrying a five-pound bag of doughnuts from the clubhouse to the ‘pen. That energy could be better utilized on Special Teams, where Coffey could barrel down the field like he’s chasing a Krispy Kreme truck.

Jeff Francoeur
6'4", 220
Baseball position: Outfield
Projected football position: Safety

Oh, life could have been so different for Frenchy. He could've played safety at Clemson after becoming one of the country's top defensive backs at Parkview High in Georgia. Who knows, his scholarship to an ACC program could have led to a future of Francoeur separating wide receivers from the football. Instead, he's spending his time figuring out why he has a Pedro Cerrano-like penchant for whiffing at breaking balls. Now considered by many baseball experts to be one of the game’s most disappointing position players, Francoeur could be flashing that movie star smile on the gridiron. Plus, his cannon for an arm would make him an intriguing emergency quarterback.

Brett Gardner
5'10", 185
Baseball position: Outfielder
Projected football position: Wide receiver

He's Wes Welker on the baseball field without the All-Star fanfare. It would be unfair to disregard the outfielder's unconquerable desire to catch fly balls no matter the physical harm -- like on June 18 when he bashed the back of his skull into Yankee Stadium's center field wall. The fact he held onto the ball brought this writer's vision of Gardner emulating Welker on the gridiron. You know, lining up in the slot, slipping into a cross route across the middle and taking the brunt of a safety's punishment while chocking up another first down and growing an equally bad-ass mustache.