The 10 Biggest Busts, Choke Artists & Goats in Sports History

From the thrill of victory to the agony of defeat... to the crippling humiliation of turning certain victory into the aforementioned crushing defeat... sports offers us life's ups and downs in miniature. Here we celebrate those horrible, wonderful, memorable disasters.

10. Becks in America
Reason: Utter Failure

Three seasons into what was supposed to be the magic bullet that finally made soccer 
relevant (i.e., profitable, interesting, televised) in the U.S., David Beckham’s much-
publicized move to MLS and his grotesquely huge contract (estimated at $250 million) 
are nothing short of a catastrophe. At last count attendance at L.A. Galaxy games is down nearly 25 percent and the team wins more frequently when Becks is off the field. 
On June 20 a screaming match broke out between Beckham and his own team’s fans. In the stands. During a game. 
On the bright side: The dude still looks good in his skivvies.

9. 2004 Yankees
Reason: Utter Failure

Up three games to nil on the hated Boston Red Sox in the ALCS, the '04 Yankees pulled the ultimate choke job—losing four straight and the pennant. No team in history had ever managed such a feat of crapitude. To be fair, Manny Ramirez and David Ortiz may have been injecting each other with T. Rex testicle juice at that point, but that’s no excuse. To make matters worse, all of us non-Massholes were subsequently subjected to several years of Beantown gloating. And if Curt Schilling is somehow able to parlay his damn bloody sock into a Senate seat (God forbid), Steinbrenner's boys get the bulk of the blame.
On the bright side: Jimmy Fallon ended up with a killer ending to the totally adorable Fever Pitch.

8. Dan and Dave
Reason: Utter Failure, Millions Lost

During the 1992 Super Bowl, Reebok's "Dan and Dave" ad campaign began saturating American airwaves, pitting Dan O'Brien against his decathlete rival Dave Johnson in a bid to hype the Summer Olympics in Barcelona and bring up Reebok's market share. It worked like a charm—until the U.S. team trials, when the heavily favored O'Brien skipped the lower heights of the pole vault contest, botched three straight attempts at a higher level, and failed to make the team. And though O'Brien went on to win the gold in '96, his display of cockiness in 1992 will be replayed by eighth-grade basketball coaches forevermore. 

On the bright side: 
This spring O'Brien set the Guinness World Record for fastest hopscotch game. Seriously.

7. Anna Kournikova
Reason: Millions Lost

The smokin'-hot 28-year-old serve 'n' volley specialist peaked as the eighth-ranked tennis player in the world in 2000 but never made a final in a Grand Slam event and hasn’t played professionally since 2003. Toward the end of her career, she was more likely to be seen in the gossip pages with her moley significant other Enrique Iglesias than in the winner's circle. Still, for a time she was the highest-paid female athlete in the world (sex sells?!) and somehow remains the most Googled female athlete on Earth. What, no love for Russian shot putter Irina Korzhanenko? 
On the bright side: Cutting short her career gave Anna plenty of time to pose for superhot Maxim cover shoots.

6. XFL
Reasons: Utter Failure, Millions Lost, L.A. Had a Professional Football Team, Total Stupidity, No Chance for Redemption

If every aspect of Vince McMahon’s ill-conceived NFL-WWF hybrid went head-to-head in a stupid-off, we’re not sure which would reign as the stupidest. The beginning scramble, resulting in a serious injury in the league's first game? The energy-drink team names (Memphis Maniax, Los Angeles Xtreme)? Nonsensical phrases on player jerseys (OK, we kind of dug he hate me)? The fact that the championship was originally called the "Big Game at the End"? By the end of its three-month inaugural season in the spring of 2001, the fledgling league had lost tens of millions of dollars 
and earned the lowest prime-time ratings in TV history.
On the bright side: Los Angeles got a pro football team to root for. Briefly.

5. Plaxico Burress
Reasons: Millions Lost, Total Stupidity

Let's say you're an athlete so talented you only had to complete two years of college before people started throwing money at you. Let's say you never showed up to practice and you still ended up an All-Pro. Let's say you just won the Super Bowl. How could you possibly fuck all that up? You could bring an unlicensed, loaded handgun into a nightclub in a city that has some of the toughest gun laws in the country, you could stash it in your jeans, leave the safety off, and shoot yourself in the thigh. That's how. After pleading guilty to a weapons charge, Burress was sentenced to two years in prison, possibly ending his career.
On the bright side: Plax taught his leg a lesson it will never forget.

4. The BCS
Reasons: Utter Failure, Total Stupidity

How does it make sense that in America's most exciting sport, our championship contenders get picked by a Dell PC with a sticky keyboard in some IT dude's basement? Since its inception in 1998, the BCS's "formula" has theoretically paired up the two top college football teams in the nation, but even with frequent tweaks the system sucks. Take for example, oh, last year, when Texas beat Oklahoma and both teams finished the season with just one loss. Who did the computer send to the title game? Oklahoma, who lost. Would the Longhorns have been a better matchup versus Florida? Absolutely. But we’re stuck with this epic fail. Reboot.
On the bright side: Finally, something Republicans and Democrats can agree on.

3. 1986 Red Sox
Reasons: Utter Failure, Millions Lost

One more strike and the curse would have been laid to rest. The champagne was on ice, Bob Costas was ready for the postvictory interviews, and Red Sox nation was poised for the biggest celebration in Boston history. Then it all fell apart as Mookie Wilson's slow ground ball dribbled through Bill Buckner's legs. It'd be hard to conceive of a more horrific collapse, a more heartbreaking end for a franchise that had already seen its share. Twenty-three years later, Buckner reigns supreme as the ultimate goat in sports history, Boston's Public Enemy No. 1, now and forever.
On the bright side: Lenny Dykstra won a World Series ring, which is currently up for auction online. At press time it 
could be yours for 16 grand.

2. Ryan Leaf
Reasons: Utter Failure, Millions Lost, Total Stupidity, No Chance for Redemption, Drugs

It seems ludicrous now, but 12 years ago Ryan Leaf was the future of football. "How good is he?" asked Sports Illustrated. "Almost 
as good as he thinks he is, which is to say spectacular." It didn't help the stud QB's cause to be drafted the same year as Peyton Manning, but a $31 million contract and a rookie season marred by horrific play on the field (two TDs, 15 interceptions, 22 sacks) and worse behavior off it (locker room fights, tirades at the press and fans) sealed his fate. By 2002 Leaf was out of the league. This summer he was arrested on drug and burglary charges. Meanwhile, Manning is reputedly still kicking around somewhere.
On the bright side: 
At least he's not number one!

1. Simona Halep
Reason: No Chance for Redemption

It may be that the literally biggest bust in sports is now nothing but a memory, as the 18-year-old Romanian tennis champion has done away with her 34DD assets. "The breasts make me uncomfortable when I play," she complained. Uh...much to the chagrin of the Facebook group created to keep her from going under the knife, aptly titled: STOP Simona Halep REDUCING HER BREASTS, Simona won her first ITF championship in Maribor, Slovenia shortly after 
the reduction. (Nice try, guys. It was a noble effort.) On the bright side: Honestly, try as we might, we just can't find any upside to this one.