Baseball Preview: The All-Maxim Baseball Team 2009

If there's one thing that the A-Rod imbroglio has taught us, it's that it takes more than mere stats for a player to worm their way into our stone-cold hearts. So for the 2009 All-Maxim team we looked beyond the box-scores and selected players that display the grit (Chase Utley), character (Josh Hamilton), girth (CC Sabathia) and chiseled good looks (Joe Mauer) that we love so much. Okay, chiseled good looks only played a minor role in the selection process. Batter up!


The ex-high school player of the year (in football) is now considered the best backstop of his generation.


Let’s just call the 6'3'', 230-pound all-natural slugger what he really is: the Great Clean Hope.


On a star-packed team, it’s the hard-nosed Utley who has become the face of the “world fucking champs!”


Just four years into his career, Wright’s finest feat may be snatching Derek Jeter’s “prince of New York” crown.


It all seems so easy for the Marlins’ do-everything shortstop. And you ever see him adjust his jock? Poetry.


Look for the 2008 Silver Slugger to take the triple crown this year, and hopefully not try to smoke it.


If there’s a player more suited to his city than “the HeBREW Hammer,” we don’t know who it is.


As if his talent weren’t enough to earn Ichiro a spot on this list, his status as a latter-day Yogi Berra does.


What with all the “Manny being Manny” nonsense, it’s easy to forget the dude is also the best pure hitter since Ted Williams.


In the postseason Hamels went a perfect 4-0 on the way to winning both the NLCS and World Series MVP.


In a sport that breeds dullness, the Cubs’ ace is an outspoken goof who likes a good time.


The kid they call “the Freak” defies all logic: He looks like he’s in junior high yet throws 98 mph heaters.

What makes a guy worth $161 mil? How about 99-mph heat, a deadly slider, and an unhittable curve?


The future Red Sox ace came back from cancer to pitch a no-hitter last year. Suck it, cancer!


Yes, Mo turns 40 this year, but the scrawny Panamanian still strikes fear into the hearts of batters, as his 1.40 ERA last season proves. His 34 postseason saves and 0.77 ERA are both records, and he’ll no doubt be the first pure closer to enter the Hall of Fame. Do you know the street value of pure Panamanian these days?