Win or lose, these coaches always win.
10. <strong>Jon Voight</strong> - <em>Varsity Blues</em> (Coach Bud Kilmer)- In some people's minds, forcing injured high school players to take pain injections is borderline child abuse. Those people are pussies who were probably treasurers of the science club. Coach Kilmer was just doing what it takes to win. We admire that.
9. <strong>John Candy</strong> - <em>Cool Runnings</em> (Irving 'Irv' Blitzer)- Knock! Knock! Who's there? Jamaica. Jamaica who? Jamaica me into an Olympian, mon! We love that joke. And we love John Candy…all 400 pounds of rotting Canadian.
8. <strong>Goldie Hawn</strong> - <em>Wildcats</em> (Molly McGrath)- Had they their druthers, Wesley and Woody's first money train would have been the one run on Coach McGrath, the sexiest sideline skipper predating Pete Carroll.
11. <strong>Nick Nolte</strong> - <em>Blue Chips</em> (Pete Bell)- He got Shaq and Penny Hardaway to play well together. That's better than Brian Hill could do. Plus Hill never beat Bobby Knight or kicked a basketball into the stands.
7. <strong>James Gammon</strong> - <em>Major League</em> (Lou Brown)- We have no doubt that Lou Brown is a great coach and manager (his strip-the-owner motivation technique is Hall of Fame-worthy), but we do have to wonder about his eyesight. How did he not notice the radical transformation of Willie "Mays" Hayes in the off-season?
6. <strong>Walter Matthau</strong> - <em>The Bad News Bears</em> (Coach Morris Buttermaker)- If not for Coach Buttermaker's tutoring, Tatum O'Neal never would have turned into the crazy drunk that we all know and love.
5. <strong>Denzel Washington</strong> - <em>Remember the Titans</em> (Coach Herman Boone)- He managed to get the fat guy from My Name is Earl, a guy from Scrubs, and the pretty boy from that sappy Notebook movie to all get along. That's saying something because we hear that the casts of Earl and Scrubs hate each other.
4. <strong>Gene Hackman</strong> - <em>Hoosiers</em> (Coach Norman Dale)- Other publications might rank Norman Dale as the greatest movie coach of all-time. We've got to drop him a few notches for Hackman's "need a check" turn as the coach in The Replacements.
3. <strong>Paul Newman</strong> - <em>Slap Shot</em> (Reggie Dunlop)- How the hell did the producers of Slap Shot manage to land Paul Newman? Who cares, because he took a rag group of nobodies and turned them into…well, OK, they lost, but putting the Hanson Brothers on a line together was just genius.
2. <strong>Kurt Russell</strong> - <em>Miracle</em> (Herb Brooks)- When you look back on who to give credit for ending communism, Kurt Russell ranks just ahead of David Hasselhoff and Ronald Reagan. No, not for playing the coach who beat the Russians. He ended communism by whipping some ass in Big Trouble in Little China.
1. <strong>Rodney Dangerfield</strong> - <em>Ladybugs</em> (Chester Lee)- With Jackée as his assistant coach and that kid from Seaquest as his best player, perhaps no other coach in history has overcome odds greater than Chester Lee did when he led the Ladybugs to the championship. And then Brandi Chastain ripped her shirt off. That was awesome.
<strong>Honorable Mention</strong>- Craig T. Nelson - Coach (Coach Hayden Fox)
Sure he wasn't in a movie, but his show was called Coach. He had to be the greatest football coach of all-time, right? Well, either him or Bruce Coslet.