Granted, most of these anthropomorphic beasts don't have actual genitalia. But if they did, their forced merriment would earn them a solid unrepentant fist to the loins. 

mlbMascots_milwaukeeBrewers_article.jpg5. Chorizo (Milwaukee Brewers)
We're OK with the Hot Dog, the Italian and Polish Sausages, and the Bratwurst. But suiting up the multilingual Chorizo in a sombrero and forcing him/her/it, likely under threat of deportation, to do the Mexican Hat Dance? The Brewers might as well add a yarmulke-wearing Brisket and Afroed Drumstick to the competition.

mlbMascots_TampaBayRays_article.jpg4. Raymond (Tampa Bay Rays)
This "seadog" merits a beating for his blog's exclamation point abuse alone. But his in-game shenanigans are so lifeless and scripted, you'd think the guy in the suit was just a between-jobs actor forced to take this gig to support the kid he sired with the chick who played the preacher's daughter in the St. Pete Playhouse production of Footloose LIVE. No?