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Powerless Five

By: 
Maxim Staff
THE POWERLESS FIVE
Amazing news this week. Someone actually managed to really piss off Jeff Burton. Unfortunately, SPEED Channel and it’s unknown sources aren’t eligible for the Powerless Five (I’m sorry, but I can’t change the rules on a whim¿who do you think I am, Mike Helton?). And now, on with the listing of the drivers furthest down in the dumps this week¿


 
Name Rank LW


Scott Wimmer 5 5
Here’s a hot rumor on Wimmer’s future with the No. 4 car¿no one care who parks the No. 4 in 39th every week or what car Wimmer steers to a top 40 finish.


Kyle Petty 4 ¿
Kyle, please stop racing. The NASCAR world has too much respect for you to watch you drive like this. Just retire. You can keep raising money for charity, driving your motorcycle and growing the worlds grungiest pony tail. Just please stop driving. We’re begging you.


Jimmie Johnson 3 ¿
Jimmie, it may be time to start cheating again.


David Gilliland 2 4
After six starts, Brent Sherman wracked up 372 points. Gilliland has 336 after six starts. Sherman got ditched. Gilliland looks like he will continue to torture Robert Yates Racing into next season.


Jeff Green 1 1
See Jeff, you screw with a star driver and first the NASCAR officials screw you. The next week Karma wrecks your ass. We recommend staying away from lightening storms this week.