Slideshow collection for Rocky's Toughest Opponents

<strong>10. The chicken</strong>- In order to improve the lumbering slab of Italian sirloin's quickness, Mick makes Rocky chase chickens around. In an eerie mirror of the first two Rocky films, Rocky is thwarted in his first meeting with the poultry, only to win in the rematch.

<strong>9. Tommy Gunn</strong>- Tommy Gunn did manage to pound Rocky pretty hard, and might have won their climactic bare-knuckle fight if not for the Obi-Wan Kenobi-like return of Mick. Still, if you can't beat an aging retarded man in an alley, you get no higher than #9 on this list. Sorry.

<strong>8. Mason "The Line" Dixon</strong>- It's difficult to judge Mason's toughness, seeing as he's fighting a 60-year-old retiree. But we will give him this: How you're represented in a video game has no bearing on the real world. Hell, we won the Super Bowl in Madden 07 with the Browns, for chrissakes. Still—Mason "The Line" Dixon? What were the rejected names? Rio "The River" Grande? Oscar "The Weiner" Meyer? Clever "The Fine Line" Stupid?

<strong>7. The slab of beef</strong>- No, not Paulie. The only opponent who could match Rocky in size, durability, and grasp of basic math. The lumps of lifeless beef proved the perfect foil for the Stallion as he struggled to get into fighting shape and, presumably, prepare a delicious meal for a party of 30 or 40. Their classic bouts inspired millions of "beating the meat" jokes, and you can't put a price tag on that.

<strong>6. Human emotions</strong>- When Rocky had to play confused or concerned, he was "in the zone," he was fighting "his fight." But ask him to cry or, God forbid, share a joyous man-hug whilst frolicking in the ocean, and the big guy was against the ropes. Who can forget his dying caribou wails over the body of Mick or the aforementioned P.D.A with Apollo, the closest we'll ever come to a male douche commercial.

<strong>5. Thunderlips</strong>- It doesn't matter that Thunderlips outweighed Rocky by 100 pounds and towered over him (seriously, Brooke Hogan would be closer to Stallone's weight class), he forgot one simple thing: Boxers actually hit each other. No open-handed slaps or homoerotic leg locks here, just knuckles in your grill. But he deserves it—"Thunderlips" is a name that should only be used by post-op porn stars.

<strong>4. Clubber Lang</strong>- One of the few fighters outside of Apollo to actually beat Rocky in the ring, Clubber also struck blows by killing Mick and publicly offering Adrian some one-on-one time with "Li'l Clubber." This inspires Rocky to pummel Lang in the rematch—but not so much because Clubber disrespected his wife, but because for a split second, Adrian considers the offer. Freeze frame the DVD. It's there.

<strong>3. Communism</strong>- In Rocky IV, the big man takes on all the symbols of evil Communist Russia: The steroid monster Ivan Drago, the harsh Siberian winter, the lack of shaving products, goats, barns, and sinister KGB agents in late-model Mercedes. If there was any way to have a scene where Rocky waits in line all day to fight a loaf of bread, goddammit, it would have been in there!

<strong>2. Death</strong>- No matter how many times he successfully defended his title, how many opponents he took down, and no matter how many robot maids he employed, Rocky couldn't stop the Grim Reaper from cutting down those closest to him. And Death did quite a number, taking out Mick (heart attack), Apollo (broken neck), and Adrian (failed to resign Talia Shire for Rocky Balboa).

<strong>1. The English language</strong>- Rocky's mouth is like a leaky cement mixer—it just kind of slowly and awkwardly lets words dribble out of its cracks. Faced with an entire movie of just Rocky and Paulie, Rocky Balboa is probably going to feel like one of Mel Gibson's dead language epics. We know you've got "Yo, Adrian!" down, now let's work on sounding out some of the bigger words…