Shrink Rap

You betta check yoself before Mark has to wreck yoself.

Jimmie Johnson may front like he's from the 'hood, but we all know Mark Martin is the head pimp of NASCAR. That being said, it should come as no surprise that Roush Racing is releasing Start Your Engines—the "Official Mark Martin Rap Anthem"—on Friday, according to the St. Petersburg Times. Hey, if the NBA can have country-singing midgets at its All-Star Game, why can't geriatric Mark Martin get his own hip-hop hit? While I couldn't get a copy of the anthem, I did track down this unofficial Mark Martin hit, "Damn It Feels Good to Be a Chase-a." (Sing along to the tune of the Geto Boys' classic.)

Damn it feels good to be a Chase-a
A real badass Chase-a pits his car right
A real badass Chase-a never bumps-and-fuckin'-runs
Cuz real badass Chase-as don't risk fights
And Harvicks always gotta be talkin'
Showing up on that Speed Channel joint
But real badass Chase-as don't sweat no punks
Cuz real badass Chase-as just count points
And everything's cool in the seat of a Chase-a
Cuz badass Chase-as always win poles
Up front 36 times a season
Cuz real badass Chase-as don't sweat rolls

And all I gotta say to you
Lucky-doggin', Talladega-wreckin' youngstas
Is when the points reset, what the screw you gonna do?
Damn it feels good to be a Chase-a

Damn it feels good to be a Chase-a
Leadin' laps and gettin' a bonus five
No I haven't ever won a title yet
But I'm headed to the new hall when it's live
Damn it feels good to be a Chase-a
And one that you don't really hate
Riding 'round track in a AAA Ford
Speeding by the red No. 8
Now badass Chase-as come in all brands and numbers
While some got wrecked in the past
But this Chase-a right here is a smart one
Keep racin' for the points and I'll last

Repeat chorus (x2)