Casey Mears gave Chip Ganassi Racing the Jennifer Aniston treatment, ditching his team for the Angelina Jolie-like Hendrick Motorsports starting next year. You can't really blame Mears, when Hendrick comes calling you listen. Mears is clearly making an upgrade, but what about Dale Jarrett's move to Bill Davis Racing from Robert Yates Racing? Consult this handy owner ranking. If a team above you offers a new ride, you jump. If a team below offers, you decline (Unless you are Kurt Busch, then you jump to whatever owner doesn't hate you yet).

  • 1. Roush Racing—It doesn't matter if you are the Cup champion or a rookie driver, you will be given a chance to win at Roush. No one is reduced to scuffing tires for your teammates.

  • 2. Hendrick Motorsports—The 24, 48, 5 and 25 have never clicked all at once for long stretches, but the potential is there. The 25 could be one of the best rides in NASCAR—or you could become the bitch driver of the company, just like Brian Vickers is.

  • 3. Joe Gibbs Racing—Free Redskins tickets make up for having to spend time with the emotionally explosive Tony Stewart. Wait…the Redskins suck. That's not a perk.
    Racing Ruminations
    Any hack columnist can predict the top five 3M Performance 400 finishers. I predict the top five and the guy who will finish 17th!

    LAST WEEK
    Top five: 1/5
    17th: 0–1

    SEASON
    Top five: 26/70
    17th: 0–14

    1. Greg Biffle
    2. Kasey Kahne
    3. Matt Kenseth
    4. Mark Martin
    5. Scott Riggs
    17. Dale Earnhardt Jr.

  • 4. Penske Racing South—The poor showing by both teams this year doesn't bode well for the future, but it's hard to pass up the racing tradition at Penske. Of course, pissing off the best team on the circuit and leaving in a huff just because you like the Penske tradition (and money) remains an asinine move.

  • 5. Richard Childress Racing—After Dale Earnhardt's death in 2001, RCR managed just two top 10 points finishes, but the team has turned things around this year. With two drivers in contention to make the Chase and a solid rookie, RCR could be ready to challenge for a title next year.

  • 6. Evernham Motorsports—Like RCR, Dodge's flagship team is on the rise. Of course, it may be infected with the same lameness that plagues Kyle Busch: Kasey Kahne told NASCAR.com that he listens to Jewel.

  • 7. Bill Davis Racing—Signing with Toyota means this team will have some of the best technical support in NASCAR. Signing Dale Jarrett and Michael Waltrip to drive the cars means those great cars will be wasted on a has-been and a never-was.

  • 8. Robert Yates Racing—Losing Jarrett to Toyota without a backup plan is a blow, but its engine deal with Roush ensures this team will always have plenty of power. Elliott Sadler's grooming habits ensure that this team remains popular among homeless NASCAR fans.

  • 9. Chip Ganassi Racing—Hover around 13th in the points for this team and suddenly you are the hottest driver in the garage.

  • 10. DEI—Do you really want to work for Teresa Earnhardt? It seems like Dale Earnhardt Jr. sure as hell doesn't want to stay.

  • 11. Hall of Fame Racing—Give it a few more years and it could expand to become the next Joe Gibbs Racing. Or it could be the next PPI. No one knows yet.

  • 12. Red Bull Racing—Other than using Toyotas, this team is still pretty much an unknown. Of course, we know for sure that the teams listed below all suck, so Red Bull is worth the risk.

  • 13. Petty Enterprises—On the one hand, you will get plenty of media coverage thanks to the Petty name. On the other hand, the only question any one asks you is "when will Petty Enterprises stop sucking?"

  • 14. MB2 Motorsports—The rumored merger between DEI and MB2 will give Junior even more teammates who can't help him on the track.

  • 15. Wood Brothers Racing—This team seems to be in a holding pattern waiting for Jon Wood to move up to Cup racing.

  • 16. Haas CNC Racing—Join the legendary list of Haas drivers such as Jeff Green, Mike Bliss, and Jason Leffler…and realize your career is over.

  • 17. Robby Gordon Motorsports—I love Robby's vigor for racing and his determination to speak his mind in a sports dominated by sponsors. I just wouldn't want to work for him.

  • 18. Morgan-McClure Motorsports—Watching MMM fall from grace is as sad as watching your WWII veteran grandfather struggle to open a pickles jar.

  • 19. PPI—If you end up driving for PPI, console yourself by saying, "at least I don't drive for BAM Racing."

  • 20. BAM Racing—This team thought Brent "One Busch Top 10" Sherman was a good hire. So, there's a good chance they'll sign pretty much anybody.