"It wasn't an easy decision to make. I want to have a best chance to win the Stanley Cup. I feel like Detroit is the team." - Marian Hossa

Last season, just before their big playoff push, the Pittsburgh Penguins signed coveted goal-scorer Marian Hossa, who had been toiling in the league dungeon known as the Atlanta Thrashers. Hossa sparked with his new team, and helped propel them into the Stanley Cup Finals against the formidable Detroit Red Wings.

Hossa led all Penguins in scoring in the Finals, but the Big Red Machine from Motor City proved too much for the young Pens and the Cup was draped in red and white instead of black and gold.

Rather than resigning with the Penguins in the off-season, Hossa looked around, saw names like Evgeni Malkin, Marc-Andre Fleury, and Sidney F-ing Crosby and thought to himself, "Nah, this team's a fluke. No way they're going to the dance again. Besides, check out how green that grass is!"


So he played the mercenary card, took a "win a Stanley Cup free" discount from Detroit, and signed with the Wings.

Waah-WAAAAAAAH.

Signing with Big D certainly got Hossa another shot at Stanley, but…what's this? Oh, right, the Pens are back, too.

Hmmm…nothing like a little extra pressure, huh, Marian? Better hope the Penguins either have a short memory or a sudden reluctance to pump in roughly 5 or 6 goals a game like they've been doing.

Good luck, man…