The NFL has many unique qualities, including the sometimes deranged fanaticism the game inspires in its fans. Make fun of a man's favorite NFL team and be prepared to get blindsided with the closest weapon lying around. Incredibly, nearly every franchise has its own group of signature fans. These men are mini-celebrities when they attend their games. Maxim.com picks the nine who annoy the hell out of everyone with their yelling and rah-rah attitude:

Bears - Glenn Timmermann

At first glance, you'd think the signatures adorned all over Glenn Timmermann's body are merely temporary. Perhaps they're simply the work of two or three of his friends maniacally scribbling the names of current and former Bears players onto his chest, arms, back and other parts of his body. Alas, the 45-year-old doesn't make his friends write player's names all over his body. Nah, that'd be too weird. It's much more sensible to have over 90 signatures and other art work (he has the Bears logo inked on the back of his head) permanently lodged onto his skin.

 

Browns - John "Big Dawg" Thompson

I started to feel sympathy for "Big Dawg" John Thompson after reading that he underwent bariatric surgery in 2004 to shed over 300 pounds. "Good for him," I thought. Then I saw that he was arrested Aug. 10 for drunken driving, only to plead not guilty two days later. Imagine that, a Cleveland sports fan living in denial. On one hand, it's totally understandable that a Browns fan would drink heavily. Look at their team: Underachieving star wide receiver? Check. Two scrub quarterbacks in a heated battle for the starting job? Check. Derisive new head coach who managed to alienate half the team before Training Camp ended? Check. Drink away, Big Dawg. Just toss the car keys to someone who can actually stand up straight.

 

Buccaneers - Keith Kunzig, "Big Nasty"

It never pays to assume crazed fans have a rational bone in their bodies, but how does a Buccaneers fan go from worshipping a pirate-themed character to dressing up like a rhinoceros? Does the Florida heat make Keith "Big Nasty" Kunzig dazed and confused? Or is it the three or four layers of face paint it's gotta take for it to hold up on his face during a 90 degree afternoon at Raymond James Stadium? In any case, this 6-foot-3, 375-pound behemoth is nothing if not enterprising; he has own Web site and bobblehead doll. Ahh, to be an NFL fan in the 21st Century.

 

Jets - "Fireman" Ed Anzalone

"Fireman" Ed Anzalone is the man revered at Jets games for leading the utterly annoying J-E-T-S chants. He's one of FDNY's finest, but the requirements for the job obviously don't include the ABC's. Only Jets fans would have to spell their team name to remind themselves why they're sitting on a bleacher with a cold can of Bud Lite on a blustery 50 degree Sunday afternoon in The Meadowlands a.k.a. Jersey's version of the middle of nowhere. And as seems to be the ritual among New York sports fans, Anzalone yells words he probably couldn't even spell on a piece of paper if they were lit up on the scoreboard in front of him.

 

Packers - John O'Neill "Saint Vince"

The loony headwear of your run-of-the-mill 'Joe Cheesehead' Packers fan is enough to make you wonder how they function in everyday society. Yet John O'Neill a.k.a. "Saint Vince" (after Packers legend Vince Lombardi) redefines lunacy with a slice of arrogance. Only the Packers fan base would be self-absorbed enough to treat their team as the basis for its own religion. The day Green Bay becomes akin to Vatican City is the day Brett Favre kisses the midfield logo at Lambeau Field. (In other words, on Nov. 1.)

 

Panthers - "Catman" Greg Good

Alright, I get it, it's Don King if he were a Panthers fan. Congratulations, you are an idiot. That glow-in-the-dark shade of blue makes "Catman" Greg Good look about as intimidating as Randy Jackson. What is scary is that he's apparently an elementary school teacher. It's so comforting to know that the children of Winston Salem, N.C. (where Good lives) are led on the straight and narrow from the beginning of their lives by a teacher who wears gargantuan, blue boxing gloves and calls himself "Catman." Awesome double life, sir. Now move along as your team of pussy cats underachieves again.

 

Ravens - Larry "Wes" Henson "Captain Dee-Fense"

You'd figure an ex-Navy man would think twice about wearing pom poms on his shoulders. Yet Larry Henson, alternatively known as Caption Dee-Fense among rabid Ravens fans, has no qualms about looking like an officer in drag. Having served our country, though, I can't rag on the man too hard. Given that he worked for the Department of Defense after retiring from the service, it'd likely take him no more than three days to track me down and slice me into eight different parts to be served as the main course for his fellow blood-thirsty Ravens aficionados.

Redskins - Mikey T., Boss Hogette

Anger isn't even the operable word to describe Michael Torbert, the leader of the mumu-wearing clan of Hogettes. It's more like sympathy. Sympathy that he and the Hogettes enjoy parading around like a bunch of Mrs. Doubtfires. Sympathy that they're probably inundated with Sarah Palin-infused "lipstick on a pig" jokes. And sympathy that Mikey T leads a group of absurdly-dressed men who root for a team ravaged by its meddlesome owner. Dan Snyder is the one who should be wearing the mumu -- with a good kick in the ass out the door.

 

Vikings - Syd Davy

Known as "100 percent Cheese-Free" for his understandable hatred of the Packers existence, Syd Davy doesn't exactly represent normalcy himself. It's not hard to envision he and John Randle engaging in screaming contests back in the day, each trading a fresh coat of face paint for what was left of their sanity. Between the war paint, the championship belt (news flash: the Vikings haven't won a championship!) and the NFL linebacker-esqe arms, Cheese-Free's gladiator complex is more irritating than a Brett Favre press conference. Speaking of, Cheese-Free might end up eating his faux golden locks after one of Favre's patended "throw it 40 yards across the field into triple coverage" interceptions.