The host of the new show Sports Soup (10 P.M. Tuesdays and Thursdays on Versus) dissects the next generation of lip-tickling athletes. By Matt Iseman
1. Adam Morrison (NBA)- It's nice to see someone finally bringing back "The John Holmes." There's a reason Adam's a Bobcatcuz he's got dainty little kitten whiskers underneath his nose.
6. Craig Stadler (PGA)- Apply named "The Walrus," old Craig could be Andy Reid's twin brother. But Stadler's one spot above Reid in the rankings 'cause his rough goes all around the hole, making his trap one giant hazard.
2. Chuck Liddell (UFC)- Chuck looks like he got hoofstamped in the face by a hairy unicorn leaving that magical goatee and a surly disposition. But it looks good on Chuck. Seriously. Really good. Don't beat me up, Iceman.
7. Andy Reid (Eagles)- There's no need to hide your offensive signals with a clipboard when you're sporting a hairy lip-visor like Coach Reid. No one's thinking about what play you're calling—they're just staring at that red badge of courage.
3. Dave Wannstedt (College Football)- How can you leave off a guy who's known as "Wann-stash?" The answer is: you can't. His Village People Construction Guy look has traveled with him from Dallas to Chicago to Miami and finally the University of Pittsburgh, where it finally fits in.
4. Shaw E. Grigsby (Fishing)- It's no surprise Shaw E. Grigsby catches so many fish. They just want a closer look at that mouth carpet he's got nailed down on his grill. Better watch out, though—if he ever gets a nosebleed trickling down into that barrier reef he calls a stash, Jaws is gonna come callin'.
8. Jason Giambi (Yankees)- Who says steroids cause hair loss? Jason Giambi brings the big wood and the man-stash. They may be tearing down Yankee Stadium, but they can never take away Giambi's lip-cozy.
9. Austin Meier (PBR)- Austin Meier rides bulls for a living, but I love what he has riding on his face. Who needs rodeo clowns when you can rib-tickle the bull into submission with your nose-nuzzler? Nobody is bucking that off his face!
5. George Parros (NHL)- George Parros is known as the Enforcer in hockey. And his moustache is enforcing a rule of its own: you pay the 25 cents before you hop on this moustache ride.