User menu

Main menu

Main menu

The Powerless Five

By: 
Maxim Staff
THE POWERLESS FIVE
An honorable mention goes to ARCA drivers Michael Simko and Don St. Denis for their crazy brawl on the track last weekend in Toledo . Simko gets a special nod of respect for his flying kick through St. Denis’ windshield. And to think, everyone got all excited when Jeff Gordon pushed Matt Kenseth. ARCA drivers know what a real fight is.


 
Name Rank LW


David Gilliland 5 2
Just eight more races and the pain will end, RYR fans, I promise. Unfortunately, it will just get worse next year at Daytona when David misses the race.


Scott Wimmer 4 5
The Morgan-McClure team would probably like to think they would have finished higher if not for a blown engine. But they’d be lying to themselves.


Kasey Kahne 3 ¿
Don’t worry, Kasey. All those NASCAR mommies will make you feel better. Then they might make you a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with the crusts cut off. Do you want it cut into triangles or rectangles?


Robby Gordon 2 ¿
I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, but omitting Robby from the Powerless Five on numerous occasions this year has been unforgivable. Incompetence like Robby’s must be recognized.


Kyle Busch 1 ¿
I’ve heard of unions going on sympathy strikes to help out fellow unions. I’ve even heard of sympathy pains from crazy husbands with pregnant wives. But this is the first time I think I’ve seen sympathy suck. Just because Jeremy Mayfield isn’t around to pull up the rear of the Chase, doesn’t mean you have to do it for him Kyle.