The Smell of Victory

Skid marks aren't just for your underwear drawer anymore.

Ahhh, the smell of the Daytona 500 infield: barbecue, racing fuel, cheap beer, festering armpits, pools of vomit, and, of course, the unmistakable musk of Jimmy Spencer. That's exactly how I want to smell before a big date, and now, thanks to Elizabeth Arden, I can! (Can Elizabeth help me get a date, too?)

Debuting this week at the Great American Race is "Daytona 500—The new fragrance for men." This latest sellout by the France family proves cologne makers still haven't learned that men don't associate sweaty athletes with sweet odors. There's a reason drivers take showers before bringing armloads of groupies back to their campers. They want to win the Daytona 500. They want to cash the Daytona 500 check. They don't want to smell like the Daytona 500.

The thoroughly average scent of this new cologne didn't exactly rev the engines of our lady sniff testers, either. ("It smells like Old Spice," one said.) But if your girl refers to foreplay as "qualifying," squirt on Daytona 500 and she just might let you bump draft on the backstretch.