Fifty years ago yesterday, Montreal Canadiens' goaltender Jacques Plante thought to himself, "As much as I enjoy having pucks shot directly at my uncovered face, maybe I could keep my original bone structure if I covered up once in a while." So he became the first goalie to don a mask in an NHL game, and the rest is history. Over the ensuing five decades, there have been some cool masks—and they are currently being honored on half a dozen other web sites. Instead, we're going to focus on the guys who are currently rocking awesome designs, so the first person who writes "you assholes forgot Gilles Gratton" in the comments section can save time and just smack himself in the forehead now.
10. Ray Emery - Philadelphia Flyers
Emery is a boxing aficionado (as well as a frequent brawler himself), so his mask pays tribute to real life Philly boxers Bernard Hopkins and Joe Frazier (not born, but raised in the city of Brotherly F-Off). Of course, Emery also had to add a nod to the city's beloved made-up heavyweight champ, an Italian kid you might have heard of.
9. Jason LaBarbera - Phoenix Coyotes
LaBarbera treats his mask like his high school binder. The dude loves Metallica and wrestling, so he doodled—sorry, paid someone thousands of dollars to paint—his twin interests on either side of his mask. Next up: He'll add "Mrs. Blonde Ice Girl-LaBarbera" in a heart on the back.
8. Cristobal Huet - Chicago Blackhawks
In honor of his team's Native American symbol, Cristobal chucked in some feathers and long, black flowing hair. Nice. But the kicker is the dreamcatcher on the neck guard. It's believed to have the power to keep bad things from slipping past it. Unlike, say…Huet.
7. Yann Danis - New Jersey Devils
When asked why he had dragons on his mask, the newest Jersey keeper replied that "it's like the devil's horse." If you don't agree that that's at least 8 different kinds of awesome, then we don't know what to tell you.
6. Kari Lehtonen - Atlanta Thrashers
Finnish goalie Lehtonen pays tribute to Heath Ledger's Joker, which you might think would put him in the running for "Nerdiest Goalie Mask," but you'd be wrong. We respect Lehtonen for not succumbing to pressure and decorating his mask with the Real Housewives of Atlanta.
5. Evgeni Nabokov - San Jose Sharks
True story: One night during a road trip, Nabokov's mask went on a bender and woke up on the floor of the Pink Pussycat Tattoo Parlor just outside of Phoenix. This was the horrific end result. (Don't worry, the mask has since sought out treatment).
4. Brian Elliot - Ottawa Senators
Jason Vorhees is to goalie masks what Madonna was to "voguing"—not the inventor, but the one who brought it to the mainstream. So kudos to Elliot for not being so boring and predictable, instead paying tribute to the other goalie-masked icon, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' Casey Jones.
3. Stephen Valiquette - New York Rangers
When you play in New York City, you have kind of an embarrassment of cultural riches to draw from for your mask design. So where does Valiquette go? Statue of Liberty, check. Empire State Building. Natch. SPIDER-MAN? We salute you, sir. You've done New York's favorite crime-fighting son proud. And yet, this is still not the nerdiest mask…
2. Peter Budaj - Colorado Avalanche
Taking notes, Kari and Stephen? This is how you nerd up a mask. Not only does Budaj (currently sidelined with swine flu, not joking) have the new fangled "Red" Hulk (called "Rulk" by morons) from the extremely recent Hulk comics, but he pays tribute to his own nickname—"Ned"—with the only possible option. Take a bow, Mr. Flanders.
1. Curtis McElhinney - Calgary Flames
Topping the list is Flames' goalie McElhinney (pronounced: "Huhwhuzza?"), who doesn't go for local pandering or cartoons for his inspiration. Nope, he heads back to high school Lit class. His entire puck-stopper is a tribute to Dante's Inferno (he even has the infamous Gates of Hell warning "Abandon Hope Ye Who Enter Here" in Italian across the top, just above, you know, SATAN). This is what you get, of course, when play behind All-Star Mikka Kiprusoff. Lots of free time to think up shit like this…