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The Monster Cable party at CES is a lot like New Year's Eve in Times Square: People that have never been think it looks great, but anyone who has ever been would rather pry off their fingernails with a pair of pliers than do it again. Every year, Monster takes some of that loot it makes selling ridiculously expensive wire and hires a big-name act to play for them. This year it was Mary J. Blige. It sounds like a good deal: An A-list musical act for zero dollars. But then they make you sit through a bunch of ultra-silly pep rallying beforehand. It's the worst, so I opted to work on increasing my free dinner count, which is currently at 7, by the way...