Lots of people fear technology. The factory worker who doesn't want to be replaced by a robot, the record industry executive who's too stupid to comprehend anything past an $18.99 CD, or movie executives who think heavy DRM and lots of hoop-jumping is fine with people that just want to watch movies on their fucking portable devices… But I digress. Hollywood and Japan express their fear of technological advancement in the most literal sense possible. These flicks are the most ridiculous examples of gadgets gone scary.

8. Chopping Mall
Evil technology: Robots
There's a huge list of movies that prove people's fear of robots: Blade Runner, The Matrix, I, Robot, AI, The Terminator, the "Itchy & Scratchy Land" episode of The Simpsons, etc. Chopping Mall is the story of some idiots locked in a mall with a robotic security system that goes out of control and starts decapitating everything. It's terrible, but great at the same time.

How to easily defeat the evil: Have you seen any robots lately? No, you haven't. And if you have, they were probably entertaining children or falling down the stairs. I'm pretty sure Pleo, the cute robotic dinosaur, isn't going to be enslaving me any time soon.

7. The Eye
Evil technology: Eye transplants
Jessica Alba gets new eyes that let her see for the first time. The problem is that they let her see all the normal stuff, plus a bunch of evil ghosts. That sounds only slightly riskier than LASIK. It's based on the Japanese movie, Gin gwai, which translates roughly to, "Holy crap, look at all these ghosts!"

How to easily defeat the evil: The only solution is to get those sunglasses Roddy Piper wore in They Live. Or she could just shut her eyes.

6. Shutter
Evil technology: Cameras
Spirit photography is every bit as silly as EVP, which is mentioned below. It's basically a bunch of whack jobs looking at film-processing screwups and claiming they're ghosts. There are a bunch of movies about it, but Shutter is the newest one. Unlike most of the rest, the original Hollywood copied is from Thailand and not Japan.

How to easily defeat the evil: Just get a digital camera and all the silly film quirks will stop happening. If the ghosts still show up, well, that's what Photoshop is for.

5. Maximum Overdrive
Evil technology: Everything
This is based on a Stephen King short story, and is one of the only flicks on the list that actually has some sense of humor about the absurdity of technology magically coming to life and killing us all. The scary part is there are people out there who didn't get the joke.

How to easily defeat the evil: I have a fully stocked bunker in the woods ready for the time when everything electronic inevitably becomes self-aware and tries to wipe out humankind. They called me crazy when I carried 480 rolls of toilet paper and 80 cases of canned beans out there, but they'll be sorry when they're getting corn-holed by their washing machines.

4. FeardotCom
Evil technology: The Internet
Replace the VHS tape from The Ring with a Web site and you've got this piece of crap. The actual content on the site isn't that crazy for people who've seen things like 2girls1cup and the Pain Olympics, but the terrible Flash design on Fear.com is enough to make anyone who knows anything about Web design scream in terror. The recent flick Untraceable is apparently also about the evil Internet, but I'm too lazy to see it.

How to easily defeat the evil: Well, the evil only lives online, so as long as we don't…wait…we're on the Internet! Holy crap, let's get the screw out of here before it gets us!

3. White Noise
Evil technology: Anything that produces static, like TVs and radios
Electronic Voice Phenomenon is kind of creepy, until you realize that it's just a bunch of nut jobs recording static and trying to pick out sections that could kinda, sorta, almost, maybe sound like a voice if you play it backward and listen closely. The movie was made even less scary by the fact that the ghosts sounded more like an Aphex Twin song than anything supernatural.

How to easily defeat the evil: This is a tough one, but if someone you love dies, you have to understand that they didn't go into the TV. Just turn to a channel with some kind of programming and you should be fine.

2. One Missed Call
Evil technology: Cell phones
Hollywood's fear of phones first became evident in When a Stranger Calls, but when they decided to remake the 2003 Japanese flick Chakushin Ari, they made themselves look even more like, well, pussies. The premise is that you get a phone call from a strange number with an unfamiliar ringtone. When the unfortunate recipient answers, they hear their own death. Then he or she dies. Go figure.

How to easily defeat the evil: Just do what 80 percent of you already do and don't answer your phone. If death wants to get in touch with you, it can send a text like everybody else.

1. The Ring
Evil technology: VHS tape
You watch a video of a bunch of gross crap, and then later, you die. It's pretty silly, but we find it a little satisfying that you could save your life by *SPOILER ALERT* making a copy of the tape. So if you don't duplicate it, you summon a demented little ghost girl that kills you with some kind of gross, wet magic; and if you do make an unauthorized copy, you summon the MPAA, who do something very similar. It's a lose-lose situation, really.

How to easily defeat the evil: Turns out it was just a tracking problem with her VCR. If you adjust it properly, the girl comes out of the TV, cooks dinner and cleans the gutters.