Grand Master Slash
Cuisinart CEK-40, $50
Lowdown: This black knight features two blades (one for meat, one for bread) and a wood-block storage tray. Bird buzz: The CEK produced perfect slices with minimal effort. “Now we’re talking,” said our tester. “This knife is a carver’s delight.” We handed him a job application to Boston Market.
Cran jam: The thing was made for metal-on-metal violence! Cutting through our can took just 65 seconds.
Tree trim: The knife whined and jammed, but after a rest it was able to suck it up and saw through the trunk.
Verdict: Righteous! When women are oohing and aahing at the way you plow a piece of poultry, you know you’ve got a top-shelf blade.

Fish Killer
Rapala Deluxe Cordless Fillet Knife Set, $90
Lowdown: Intended for filleting fish afield, the Rapala boasts two battery packs and a portable cutting board. Bird buzz: This blade smoothly severed a leg joint before diving into breast meat with similar aplomb. Stop laughing.
Cran jam: Oh, boy! During the 2.5-minute procedure, the knife got superhot and produced a machine smell “complementary to the cranberry,” said our tester.
Tree trim: Weak. Thanks to repeated stalls, progress was slow—the Rapala hardly made a dent in the tree trunk.
Verdict: Bring this fish knife to your Thanksgiving table and impress your dude friends with its loudness and looks. Just don’t try felling a tree with it.

Dull Moments
Oster 2803 Inspire Electric Knife, $23
Lowdown: This lightweight unit comes with a handy carving fork.
Bird buzz: Oster’s entry struggled to cut through the leg joint and gave our tester a sore arm and a bad whine. “It requires too much effort,” he noted. “Which is ironic. The point is to remove effort.”
Cran jam: With a lot of pressure—and sweat—from our tester, this blade got superhot before cutting through the can in two minutes and 50 seconds.
Tree trim: The Oster got about a fifth of the way through the three-inch-diameter trunk before it gave up and died.
Verdict: It’s called the Inspire, but we couldn’t find anything too inspiring about it.