Crazy Time
Sebastian Wrong’s Font Clock flips a total of 12 different typefaces. OCD types can await the few times per year all displays sync fonts for five-minute periods. $1,300, mossonline.com




Big Flat Clock
Unroll this nearly six-foot-tall paper Grandpa Clock and add some haughty elegance to your pad without the excessive size, weight, and godforsaken chiming. $79, gnr8.biz




Let’s Roll
Clocky will get your ass out of bed. At wake-up time he wheels off your nightstand and turns wildly on the floor, shrieking. Wanna shut Clocky up? Catch the bastard first. $50, thinkgeek.com





Four Squares
The LED Clock features four two-inch cubes that each display one digit. Arrange them in any order you like; unless you have a kid genius traipsing about, your code is safe. $85, conran.com




Great Dane
We dig the space-age Koppel Clock. Danish designer Henning Koppel dropped the timepiece in 1980; it’ll still be fly come 2080, when it will match your robotic legs. $180, mossonline.com




Flipper Over
Start running your house like a stationmaster by mounting the imposing Giant Wall Flip Clock. Even the cockroaches and mice will arrive and depart on time. $95, littleclockshop.com