THE RAW AND THE COOKED: Sweetest Oysters
Jonathan Swift once said, “He was a bold man that first ate an oyster.” Pussy! The mollusks that thrive in the brackish waters of Lake Pontchartrain are the reason you come to New Orleans. And given the oyster’s reputation for stiffening the ol’ shuck stick, they just may be the secret ingredient to the city’s hedonistic stew. If you like them raw, swirled into the preferred local concoction—horseradish, lemon juice, ketchup, and Tabasco—head to Bozo’s (3117 21st St., Metairie), a no-frills, linoleum-tabled joint boasting some of the fattest, freshest oysters around. Casamento’s (4330 Magazine St.), a tiled-from-top-to-bottom Uptown storefront, serves them fresh-shucked or fried and stuffed into a po’boy, to equally delicious effect. The oyster stew is manna, too. Noisy, bustling Landry’s Seafood House (400 N. Peters St.) may attract the odd gastro-tourist (for good reason), but nothing like the throngs that flock to Acme Oyster House (724 Iberville St.). If you’re not so into the raw deal, go to Drago’s Seafood Restaurant (2 Poydras St.), which specializes in grilled oysters, roasted over an open fire. Slurp!—Julian Sancton

BEST PLACE TO GET A BITE
Boutique du Vampyre (712 Orleans St., feelthebite.com)
Mark your territory on that UNO coed you met at the Abbey bar around the bend. This curio shop behind St. Louis Cathedral specializes in disturbingly realistic custom vampire fangs. Made of dental-grade acrylic from a mold of your chompers, they snap right in without glue. At $100 to $800 a pop, there’s much at stake.

CRAZIEST CREOLE KITCHEN
Jacques-Imo’s Café (8324 Oak St., jacquesimoscafe.com)
With a wild-man spirit that carries over to his boisterous rock’n’roll kitchen, Chef Jack Leonardi, the unofficial mayor of Oak Street, is New Orleans’ Mario Batali (sans the clogs, red face, and piglet tail). The “experience” of eating at this casual but serious Creole-Cajun swamp-boogie house begins when diners walk directly through the bustling open kitchen into the dining room, where the Stones are cranking. But the real magic is the wildly imaginative, indigenous cuisine. No one does a better blackened redfish, period. And the shrimp-and-gator-sausage cheesecake is simply amazing. Feeling weird? Eat your dinner at the two-top in the flatbed of the Jacques-Imo’s house truck. Encore!

SPICIEST MUDBUGS
Big Fisherman Seafood (3301 Magazine St.)
Make a party on your hotel room terrace! Just head here, a market fave for Uptown locals. Pick up four or five pounds of boiled crawfish, served with Old Bay–seasoned corn and red potatoes, spread out some newspapers on the floor, and dig in.