1. Perfect Pitch
With three huge mesh windows, a zippered wall that creates two rooms, and a palatial 83 square feet of floor space, REI’s Kingdom 6 is the ideal car-camp crash pad for you and up to five buddies. More importantly, when you lose your job and home in a few months, it’ll become your mansion on the hill! You just have to lug it up the hill.
$349
rei.com

2. Double-Bagged
Wanna turn a friendship into something more? Persuade a gal pal to spend the night with you in the two-person North Face Twin Peaks BX sleeping bag. Its comfy taffeta confines make sexy-love-time a lock. But just in case your advances are rebuked, the bag stays warm down to 20°F.
$159
thenorthface.com

3. Pot Fiend
The wizardly MSR Flex 4 smashes a full kitchen setup—two pots, strainer lids, plates, and mugs for four—into less than 1 sq.ft. Unless you drive an El Camino, you’ll need that trunk space for beer.
$160
basegear.com

4. Ground Rules
The ability to make fire? Greatly overrated. The ability to make coffee? Essential. Powered by a propane or butane canister, the Brunton BrewFire Dual-Fuel coffee maker can whip up eight cups of joe anywhere, so you can get your fix even in BFE.
$161
brunton.com

5. Perv-o-Scope
Sure, you could use the National Geographic Night Vision Monocular for its intended purpose—watching raccoons rum-mage through garbage—or you could more wisely utilize its 70-foot field 
at 200-foot imaging range to spy on the amorous couple in the next camp-site.
$200
shop.nationalgeographic.com

6. Attack Pack
Even if your campsite floods, the sealed seams, roll-top closure, and engineering overkill of the Arc’teryx Arrakis 40 backpack will keep your most important shit dry. So while you get soaked, at least your back issues of Maxim will be safe!
$399
arcteryx.com

7. Get Found
After you’ve completed your vision quest, the iPhone 3GS’s digital compass will help steer you back to camp.
From $199
apple.com