Cowboys and Indians
Harsh realities of adult life got you down? Put a stake in Design Within Reach’s tepee, a staggering work of Native American architecture that’ll lend your backyard “retreats” a sense of the epic. Reinforced by poles carved from Montana pine and wrapped with tightly woven army duck canvas, this 15-foot-tall, 12-foot-diameter Pocahontas love den has working smoke flaps—ideal for when you hit that peace pipe. $2,200, dwr.com

The Wheel Deal
Just because you totaled your Scion drifting doesn’t mean you should give up your racing dreams. Plug the Fanatec Porsche Carrera Racing Wheel and the included pedal into your PC or PS3 and get a real tactile sense of being in the Carrera cockpit. Start learning the superiority of the German master race…of car manufacturers! $190, fanatec.com

Monkey Business
Just like Lennie from Of Mice and Men, you love animals. So why not pep up your holiday party by renting a chimp from Animal Actors Sweet Sunshine? One of 10 working primates nationwide will visit your house and fling poo at guests. $2,000–$3,500 for a day, animal-actors.com

Peekaboo
We know the human body still has you scratching your head. Jump-start your learnin’ with Conran’s Eyeball Anatomy, a hand-painted, structurally correct 35-piece puzzle on a stand. See if you can solve it. Get it? $16, conranusa.com


She-Bot
Ever notice something weird when you look into your closet full of dancing robots? Right—they’re all dudes! That’ll change when you bring home the WowWee Femisapien, a magical electronic being that responds to gestures and touch and can learn dance routines, like your ex’s sexy, hypnotic electric slide.
Not convinced? Check out these features:
Never been kissed? Femisapien will help you out with that.
Moving hips sway sultry and lifelike when she strolls the catwalk.
Like other girls, she’ll try to leave you. Until her batteries die.
$99, wowwee.com

You’re It
If your local laser tag zone still isn’t letting you in after you ruined some poor kid’s birthday party, start your own game with Hasbro’s Lazer Tag Multiplayer Battle System. Rumble packs make the guns recoil after each shot, and add-ons like a scope ensure pinpoint accuracy, which is vital when you have nothing left to lose. $80, hasbrotoyshop.com