Father's Day is only a few days away, but that won't stop you from waiting until the last second to find him a craptastic present of mediocrity. Fortunately, we're here to help.

Here's What You Know: Dad had to mortgage a second home to house the mountain of LPs he's been collecting since he was your age. He likes to listen to them here and there, maybe while puffing on his pipe in the den, and considers your iPod doothingamahickey a work of the devil himself.

What Your Lazy Ass Would Typically Do: You pretend that his opinion of the world doesn't matter and buy him an iPod anyway. You fill it with some of his favorite Bob Dylan and Johnny Cash songs, place it on his dresser drawer and wait for what you think will be a gesture of fatherly love. Instead, he wakes up to the iPod alarm clock and thinks you're trying to bring hellfire and brimstone upon his household. He then calls the local priest to come and exorcise the demon he thinks lives in his room.



Upgrade: Your dad's not a tech nerd like you, so a snazzy new MP3 player isn't going to cut it here—the Numark TTi USB Turntable is the answer. It allows you to play vintage vinyl records, but also gives you the option to transfer the sound to digital, either compressed into MP3 format or into uncompressed CD discs to retain full fidelity and characteristics. It's easy to set-up, has special pitch controls to edit sound on the fly, and can be connected to a sound mixer or directly to iTunes on a PC or Mac. Find a way to convince dad Lucifer doesn't reside in Apple's portable media player, and you can buy him an iPod to connect to the TTi's dock so he can play or record music sans computer.

Price on Amazon: $206.72

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