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3 Things Every Company Should Remember When Designing A Smartwatch

Here’s what Samsung, Apple, and the rest should learn from these classic fictional smartwatches.

It was reported today that Samsung has filed patents for its new smartwatch. A device with a flexible touchscreen that wraps around your wrist, and a design similar to the Galaxy S Android tablet, the smartwatch is…a thing that is happening, we guess? It’s hard to imagine what use a so-called smartwatch would be now that everyone and their fish owns a smartphone, but that hasn’t stopped at least a half dozen other companies – including Sony and Apple – from also working on similar devices. If they want to get it right, here are three important lessons to learn from some earlier smartwatches:



Make It Sleek And Unobtrusive

As seen in: Dick Tracy

This Dick Tracy wristwatch commercial shows how it’s supposed to be done. Look at that thing! It could fit easily inside any pocket large enough to fit a medium-sized dog! And that subtle belt-radio attachment is so discreet, you’d never even notice the aerial that nearly pokes your eye out every seven seconds! We really hope that current smartwatch developers learn from this sleek classic, and at the very least, install some kind of bear cave-finding app.



Make It Pet Friendly

As seen in: Inspector Gadget

Of all the watches on this list, Penny’s is clearly the most advanced, featuring full video calling, a simple interface, and, best of all, a mind control device that lets her take complete control of her dog’s brain. We long for the day when our pet calls us on our watch to say it really needs to go out in the yard, like, quite urgently, and we simply press a button to make it understand how to use a toilet instead.



Make Sure The Technology Is Cutting Edge

As seen in: The Spy Who Loved Me

Now we’re talking. Who the hell wants to receive a text message, when you could be receiving a telex instead? We want a watch that prints out our emails onto something that looks suspiciously like it came out of an old fashioned label maker, and we want it now, damn it.



Want more tech? Check out 5 Phobias We Could Cure With The “Oculus Rift” Virtual Reality Headset or The Fat Geeky Guy’s Phone Accessory Roundup