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4 Non-Lethal Uses For Drones

Everyone’s favorite killer robots can do more than just murder!

In less than a decade, an estimated 50,000 drones will be buzzing through American airspace. But fret not, fans of liberty (and not being shot with hellfire missiles) – only a very small percentage of those deadly, soulless machines will be armed! Yes, thankfully Dronestragram will likely remain an app only relevant to those third world countries that insist on hiding terrorists, hoarding our delicious oil, or happily going about their business when a middle manager accidently spills Mountain Dew on the “fire” button. So what will those tens of thousands of US drones actually do? Let’s find out!


Photo: Handout / Landov | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2013

An Awesome Hobby
You know those sad single dads who stand in parks holding RC controllers, staring directly into the sun while directing extremely expensive and complicated toy airplanes? Well pretty soon, those toy airplanes will be toy drones! Looking to break into this exciting new hobby? Check out DIY Drones' “Newbie’s Guide” to these terrifying instruments of inevitable totalitarian control that you can build in your garage!

Novelty Nerd Shit
Imaginary Nerdbro #1: “Hey, Steve.”
Imaginary Nerdbro #2: “I told you, my name is Aragorn.”
Imaginary Nerdbro #1: “Okay, Aragorn. What should we do with these 20 flying, silent robots that may someday be capable of complex thought, thereby threatening man’s dominance and igniting an apocalyptic ‘robo war’ that will consume us all in fire?”
Imaginary Nerdbro #2: “LOL let’s make them do the Star Trek symbol in the air.”
Imaginary Nerdbro #1: “So cool! Aragorn, I…I love you.”

Protecting the Environment
Just in case you imagined a future where the skies were dominated by drones, but the sea was still a hidden refuge removed from surveillance (and filled with tasty crab, fish, and mermaids), guess again! Theoretical “Marine Drones” would patrol the world’s waterways, helping clean pollution and managing disasters in conditions or at depths inaccessible to humans. They would probably never ever be armed with torpedoes, or those cool giant buzz-saws you only see at cartoon lumber yards but which you always think to yourself would be “totally acceptable to place on a submarine if you were a rad super villain.”  

Art Installations
While the “Drones of New York” are just computer drawings digitally added to photos of New York City, it’s easy to imagine a world where “clever” people with trust funds and 13 roommates decide that flying, autonomous art installations are a great idea. Honestly, we’d prefer 50,000 scary weapon drones to this.  

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