User menu

Main menu

5 Questions We Have About Amazon Prime Air Drones

The future is here. And it's got a box full of porn with your name on it.



On last night's episode of 60 Minutes with Charlie Rose, Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos unveiled the online marketplace giant's latest innovation: Amazon Prime Air, a drone-based package delivery service. Expected to roll out in 2015 or sometime thereafter, the futuristic 'copters will allow users within a 10-mile radius of an Amazon distribution center (of which there are nearly 100 worldwide) to have any available item delivered to their door within 30 minutes. The only parameter is that the items must weigh less than five pounds, which the vast majority of items sold on Amazon are. But while specific details about Amazon Prime Air have yet to be released, we've got a few preliminary questions after last night's report. Feel free to add yours in the comments.


I didn't even know Charlie Rose was still alive. Is he?
Yes. Ask us again in 60 minutes. Zing!

 

Will the drones judge me for buying whatever it is I might be buying (definitely not porn)?
Probably. But not as much as your neighbors, who will think you are a terrorist, because drones. Also, that beard.


How much is five pounds? Would a DVD box set weigh less than five pounds? What about a DVD box set, plus a bottle of lotion? (FOR MY HANDS!!!)
You're disgusting.
 

I live in an apartment building that also happens to be super-close to a crack house. How will the drones deliver my package safely, without being intercepted by thieves or lunatics?
First of all, San Francisco sucks, dude - you should move. But also, this one is a real stumper. Maybe they'll fly directly into your apartment through an open window? Maybe you'll be able to track the package so you know when to go downstairs and meet your drone, like the Domino's pizza tracker? But, more likely, a lot of packages will get intercepted by thieves or lunatics. Hopefully, they like filthy pornography.
 

Is the future going to be terrifying?
Does a drone shit in the woods? (Yes.)

 


Also on Maxim.com:
2013 Holiday Gift Guide
Best of the Next Gen Launch Games