Pigskin Party Primer

Don’t have these five essentials? Don’t even bother having a party.

Don’t have these five essentials? Don’t even bother having a party.

A Big-Ass TV

G’head, go big. Get rid of your elementary-school diploma on the wall to make room for Vizio’s 65-inch Theater 3D Edge Lit Razor LED LCD HDTV, the first set that allows you to watch in 3D with theater-style (not battery-powered) glasses. No, the Super Bowl will not be broadcast in 3D. But in case of a blowout, be prepared to pop in a Blu-ray and blow some minds. $3,699, vizio.com

A Grill To End All Grills

What will your guests be most impressed with about your Grill ’N Chill Tailgater? Is it the 24,000 BTU burner that gets to searing temps in three minutes? The weatherproof stereo? The concealed ice chest? The adjustable suspended chassis? Or is it the built-in beer dispenser? Yeah, it’s probably that. $2,999, frontgate.com

Threatening Décor

You’ll be much less likely to get shit stolen from your house when there’s a life-size Troy Polamalu staring down your guests. Deck your wall in a removable Fathead decal, available in 300-plus NFL players. More than three feet wide and six feet tall, they’re so lifelike you may be offering them a beer by halftime. $99, fathead.com

Fair to Wear

Puncture the awkward first-quarter silences by unbuckling brews with your HipGrip belt loop bottle opener, a guaranteed conversation starter available in any NFL team’s logo. Yes, it’s downright weird that it took till 2010 to get this far in beer-opening technology. But we’re not going back. $15, hipgrip.biz

Total Control

In case other home-theater geeks arrive, you’ll need a techy trick up your sleeve to really impress. Our pick: the My TV Remote, which allows you to control your whole home theater from your iPhone or iPod touch with the use of a small IR attachment, which they’ll ship you free once you’ve purchased the app. $9.99, iTunes Store