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Google Has a Nefarious New Ad Plan, and It Involves Your Refrigerator

In an SEC filing, the overlords in Mountain View detail a secret scheme to bring ads to the unlikeliest of places.

Photo: Getty Images

Your TVs aren’t enough. Your phones, computers, magazines, radios, and highways only make them hungrier. The advertisers want more. In a secret SEC filing uncovered by the Wall Street Journal, Google provides the details. “...A few years from now, we and other companies could be serving ads and other content on refrigerators, car dashboards, thermostats, glasses, and watches, to name just a few possibilities," the filing reads. A few weeks later Google bought the smart thermostat company Nest. They’re coming for us.

Google’s version of the future is bleak. That awful “Buy the World a Coke” song blares from your refrigerator as you reach for a Coke. You scream, “I can’t afford to buy the whole world a Coke! I’ve already bought 12 for myself!” You go to turn on the AC and have to watch a trailer for Disney’s Frozen first. You break down. You need to relax. You go to your car, take off for a calming drive, get distracted by a Victoria’s Secret ad on your dashboard, hit a telephone poll at 45 MPH and die on impact. This is what Google wants.

Of course, they deny it. Google told Mashable that the SEC filing “does not reflect Google's product roadmap.” But isn’t that what you’d expect them to say? It’s not like they’re going to admit they’re working on plans for office chairs to offer up weight loss ads every time you sit down at work. You know they are though.

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