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Science Explains Your Weird Body: Phantom Phone Vibration

We here at Maxim are consistently on the forefront of scientific exploration, but when we're not breaking boundaries in the lab, we try to give back to the greater good. That's why we're taking this time to explain some of the weird things that your body does. In this installment: Phantom Phone Vibration.



Picture this: You're out on the town with a beautiful lady, say, Maxim model model Talita Correa. Things are going swimmingly (how could they not?), until you reach down in the middle of your conversation and pull out your vibrating phone. Only, your phone isn't vibrating. You weren't getting a call at all! You turn scarlet with embarrassment and your date storms away in disgust. Damn you iPhone, you've foiled me once again!

You've been struck by Phantom Vibration System (cleverly nicknamed Ringxiety or HypoVibroChondria). There are varying schools of thought about the source of this syndrome. Some experts say that the electrical signals that are coming in and out of your squawkbox can touch the nerves in your leg and simulate the feeling of vibration. This means that something is actually physically happening to your body causing the "fauxcellarm."

However, your dumb brain isn't getting off that easy. Some say that this concept is caused by your own psychological state. You are so conditioned to expect some sort of technological stimuli all the time that your brain makes that jump whenever you get any sort of stimuli under your waist (if you get what we're saying, chief).

This phenomenon also exists with audible ringing. This is solely understood as a physical issue, as we are especially sensitive to sounds that fall within the same range that most mobile ringers do, so when your environment is noisy, your ears will pick up the sounds in that range and mistake it for that call from your mom—uh, that Maxim model.

So, is your fate sealed, constantly losing all of your dates to bad vibrations? Not so! In 75% of cases, turning your phone off of vibrate and onto an audible ringer solves the problem, and 63% were cured when they changed the location of the phone on their person. It seems like we're going to have to find another excuse for blowing it with the ladies all the time.

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