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Scientist Invents Butt Implant That Causes Female Orgasms (Yes, You Read That Correctly)

And it only requires horribly invasive surgery!


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According to an article on New Scientist, this medically sexy, yet-to-be-named device has now been patented and could well be a reality. Created by Stuart Meloy, a surgeon at Piedmont Anesthesia and Pain Consultants in Winston-Salem, NC, the device uses electrodes to stimulate the relevant areas, and he believes it could be effective even on women who, for various reasons, are simply incapable of achieving orgasm naturally (we knew it wasn’t just us! In your face, every person we had sex with in college!).

 

Clinical trials are expected to begin at some point this year, but don’t expect this to be an easy procedure. The wires themselves have to be surgically implanted into the nerves of your spinal cord, and the generator that powers it – which would likely be the size of a pack of cigarettes – would be implanted under the skin of your buttocks. All in all, it doesn’t sound like the most comfortable way to get off.

 

And what about those poor men out there who can’t achieve orgasm by themselves (if such a thing actually exists)? Don’t despair: Meloy hasn’t tested it on a dude yet, but he believes it would work just fine. Really, that’s the most worrying part of all – if men gain the ability to orgasm at the flick of a switch, the worldwide economy is going to collapse within 48 hours. We always suspected that the apocalypse would be the result of a finger on a button - we just didn’t expect it to be such a weird button. 

 

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