The Jets’ biggest fan quits, NFL cheerleaders are going bald, and Tom Brady actuallt isn’t the worst actor in the known universe.
1. Chuck Pagano’s Cancer is Making the Colts The Best Team Ever
To honor their stricken head coach (and toraise money for cancer research), a pair of Colts’ cheerleaders offered to go bald. After fans put together $22,000 (over $10,000 more than what was needed), the two went through with it live on TV. While we commend the ladies for their charity, bravery, and ability to inspire crowds simply with their lack of clothing and bouncing skills, watching their rictuses of pain disguised as smiles as a team mascot buzz cuts both girls is a little painful to watch. So watch it now! And then go back to respectful admiration.
2. Tom Brady’s Acting Skills Are Improving
The Patriots’ QB’s first run at thespian-izing came in HBO’s Entourage (you remember, that show about four special education students who make it big in the acting-like-tools business?). Brady’s acting skill in the episode could be best described as “wooden” or “terrible” or “makes us regret waking up for another day to face the brutal and cold existence we call life.” But take heart, high forehead (and Patriot) fans, your savoir redeems himself in an actually pretty good Funny or Die skit. In the bit Brady even says a dirty word!
3. Fireman Ed Quits The Jets and There Was Much Rejoicing
Football’s most irritating NFL Films regular, Fireman Ed, aka Ed Anzalone, has retired his helmeted persona for the New York Jets. Though not an official mascot of the team, Ed has led fans in the “J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS” chant for over 20 years of mostly losing seasons. While watching Jets games over the years has been bad enough, the TV networks’ insistence in cutting to Ed as he straddled the shoulders of some behemoth troll, cheering his team on to what was almost always a rousing defeat, was only slightly less annoying than their insistence on 24 hour Tim Tebow coverage. While Ed claims he will continue to watch games from the stadium, it will be in a different part of the arena, without a helmet, and without a cheering section.
4. The Cardinals Are The First Team in NFL History to Lose Seven Games in a Row After Starting 4-0
After looking like one of the best teams in one of the best divisions, the Arizona Cardinals now look like great candidates for relegation to the Canadian Football League, and the NFC West has a single franchise with more than one road win.
5. Defensive Linemen Sure Do Like Kicking People in the Head
Though if our name was Brodrick Bunkley, we’d probably kick people in the head, too.
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