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5 Things We Learned From The 2013 NFL Week 2

Peyton’s still better than Eli, and Tim Tebow’s still better than whatever they have in Jacksonville.


Photo: Steve Dykes / Getty Images | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2013

1. When You Concuss A Player, Try Not To Dance On His Grave
After 49er Eric Reid delivered a crushing over-the-middle hit to Seahawks receiver Sydney Rice, it was Reid who lay prone on the field, clearly suffering from force-induced brain-no-work-so-good-ism. Rice decided that was a good time to spin the ball in celebration just a few feet from the prone 49er. Not classy. 

2. Seattle’s 13th Man Is So Good They Blocked A Punt
…fFr their own team. A triple whistle was heard (which usually signifies a stoppage of play) while the Seahawks were lined up to punt. Sadly for the Seahawks, it wasn’t a referee making the noise. Reacting to the whistle, many Seahawks lineman stood up out of their stance and where caught totally unaware when the ball snapped. Result? One blocked punt. Strangely enough, it appeared that the 49ers players did not react to the fan-blown whistle. Conspiracy!? Probably!

3. Peyton Remains The Superior Manning
Though Peyton is down to half a vertebrae in his neck and his passes have all the zip of a toddler throwing bowling balls, he still managed to outplay brother Eli for a third straight Manning Bowl victory. If the Mannings remain on their current teams, they won’t face each other again until 2017, when Peyton will be 41 years old and, presumably, running on spinal fluid injections harvested from teenage runaways.

4. Yellow Is Not A Good Color For A Scoreboard
The CBS score ticker prominently featured a yellow “final” graphic next to games that had finished. Unfortunately, it looked exactly the same as the yellow “penalty” graphic the pops up whenever a ref throws a flag, which lead to equal amounts of hope and rage as fans thought huge plays were being called back. Friendly suggestion to CBS: get some kind of animated stupid robot that dances and wears outfits and, for some reason, has an idiotic football pun name like “Cleetus” to announce when games are finished – that should keep fans happy!

5. Oh, God – Jacksonville Actually Might Be Better With Tim Tebow
And now there’s a website from the Jaguars begging to sign him. And they’re throwing a rally. Please just make it stop. We recommend supporting the Jaguars in a more productive way: by just Jaggin' It

Check out Even In Loss, The Legend of Johnny Football Grows and The Best Badge of Honor Scars In Sports.