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Who is That Girl: Rochelle Aytes



You already know Rochelle Aytes even though you're going to publicly deny ever watching Desperate Housewives or Sex & the City. The New York native is so gorgeous she doesn't show up on film because light refuses to come back once it touches her. That's why she's best known among the youth of today as the voice of Left 4 Dead 2's rendered character (also named) Rochelle.

You can listen to every single bit of her Left 4 Dead 2 dialogue in the video series below, but be warned: your boss will think you're listening to porn. Or your mother will. Or, if you work at a mom & pop restaurant, both. Get back to work! People are waiting for those jalapeno poppers.

Also, a warning atop your warning: even though half of it sounds like the shameful kind of orgasmic, every eighth utterance is something so ghastly not even Japan could sexualize it. So you're really taking a binary chance here.

What she has cooking these days is a part on ABC's midseason replacement Work It, which debuts in January or February. She plays Vanessa, the gorgeous boss to The Dude from Prison Break, who's posing as a fuzzy-chinned woman to score a job. It sounds like a ripoff update of Bosom Buddies, which had a healthy run, so we're buddying up to her bosom now before all you Johnny-crush-lately punks start hitting on her.

Bosom Buddies, for those of you under 45, was a show about Tom Hanks and Not Tom Hanks (played by Peter Scolari) as two bachelors who don drag to land a sweet apartment in a building that only accepts female tenants (and no, it's not the Playboy Mansion). The show earned Hanks an Emmy for Lead Transvestite.

Looking at this…well, let's call it a comedy--she's got to be the only memorable part, unless they plan to pull out a season finale twist that the company saw right through the cross-dressing plot and accepted its employees for who they are.

But why think of transvestites when there's so much original make and model to ogle? Miss Aytes is a mile of grace rolled into five and a half feet of beauty. We're getting our jaws wired shut this week so we can ogle her without breaking our feet.

She plays a pharmaceutical company president but no drugs are necessary; we're already floating on her charm. (And she hangs out with her peon employees? What kind of tiny mom & pop pharmaceutical company is this? The kind where you can watch NSFW YouTube clips and not get fired?) We bet when she walks by you can get high off her perfume, and when you ask her what that scent is, she answers softly, "Class."

Brendan McGinley would never leave you for dead