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The Five Naughtiest Airline Scandals

Watching Christina Ricci on ABC’s Pan-Am on Sunday nights has made us nostalgic for the more fun era of plane travel. Although most flights are a soul-sucking pain in the ass, with no more free booze and cramped seats threatening to leave your lower half permanently numb, some dedicated cabin crews are doing their damndest to make the phrase “warm nuts and a moist towelette” sound dirtier than ever. Like these guys...

IN FLIGHT-GRANTE

Scandal: A raunchy Cathay Pacific flight attendant and pilot took the word “cockpit” a bit too literally last month when NSFW pics of a midflight BJ emerged on the Internet.
Fallout: The Hong Kong-based airline decided to delay its new global ad campaign featuring the slogan: “Meet the team who go the extra mile to make you feel special.” Still, why invest any more ad dollars when you already have guys in Iowa calling to see where Cathay Pacific flies?

AIR STRIKE

Scandal: Blazing-hot Spanish flight attendants pose nude for a 15 euro calendar in 2010, after getting stiffed on nine months of wages from Air Comet.
Fallout: International media outlets as far as Australia pick up the story of the screwed cabin crew’s struggle, broadcasting images of the unpaid flight attendants doing their jobs naked. We sent Air Comet the following letter: “Dear Air Comet Human Resources Department, Thank you. Keep up the good work.”

MILE HIGH MEMBERSHIP

Scandal: Qantas flight attendant Lisa Robertson explains the special benefits of the airline’s frequent flyer program to actor Ralph Fiennes in 2007, while having unprotected sex with him in the airplane’s bathroom.
Fallout: She was suspended without pay—and Fiennes went with the Shaggy line of defense for getting caught red-handed banging on the airplane bathroom floor.

PASSPORT TO PERVY

Scandal: On a flight from L.A. to Dallas/Fort Worth in 2008, a 21-year-old spring breaker fell asleep, only to wake up to an insane passenger jerking off and ejaculating in her hair.
Fallout: Centava Dozier sued American Airlines for $200,000 for not making the perv go back to his assigned seat.The moral of the story? Never, ever use an airplane blanket. Ever.

PREPARE FOR TAKE IT OFF

Scandal: In February of 2008, a fellow crew member posts video on the web of a French flight attendant doing a striptease for a touchy-feely U.K. pilot during a short haul flight.
Fallout: A brief probe was conducted by several European airlines to find the duo responsible for the previous “brief probe”.