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The Lions Roar, Losers No More

Chances are, only three Maxim readers were alive the last time the Detroit Lions were 5-0 back in 1956. That was so long ago that it was before there was a such thing as a Super Bowl. But the Lions are one of only three old-school loser teams (the Arizona Cardinals and Cleveland Browns are the others) to have never appeared in the biggest game in sports. Now the Lions, who beat rival Chicago Bears 24-13 Monday night, are playing like they could reach the Super Bowl this season.

Here are 5 reasons why the Lions sucked for more than a half century

1. Former general manager Matt Millen and his horrible drafts and moves set the franchise back a decade. Millen made more bad moves than NBA commish David Stern, who could lose the 2011-12 season.

2. The Lions couldn¹t figure out how to win with Barry Sanders, who is arguably the best running back in NFL history. That's like going out with Brooklyn Decker and not knowing what to do with her.

3. The Ford family, which owns the Lions, apparently knows more about cars than football. But with all of the Japanese autos on American roads, apparently that's debatable.

4. The Lions drafted Joey Harrington. The only bigger bust we can think of is Jessica Simpson's.

5. Wayne Fontes was such a bad coach that even Detroit uber fan Kid Rock couldn't back him.