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Five Badass Weapons You Need

Remember all the kick-ass stuff your 11-year-old self swore he’d buy when his mom wasn’t ruining all the fun? Time to live up to that promise...and probably put an eye out in the process.

Star Power

Used for centuries in China and Japan, throwing stars are just flat pieces of high-carbon steel with three or more sharpened points, thrown overhand like a baseball. If you live someplace where stars like these Cold Steel Sure Strikes are legal, get yourself some paper targets and a pair of ninja pj’s, then pretend you’ve been really badly dubbed. $58 for 12, knifecenter.com

Venture of a Lifetime

Gerber—not to be confused with the folks who sell carrot puree—has been making high-quality knives since 1939. The Venture, one of its most popular items, sports a titanium handle and a spring-assisted locking 3.2-inch blade and weighs a mere 4.2 ounces. Ideal for hacking, slashing, and letter opening. $74, gerbergear.com

Bar Fighter

The ultra-sharp KA-BAR USMC fighting knife has been the Marines’ go-to blade since 1942. Awesome fact: KA-BAR is an abbreviation of “kill a bear,” as taken from a fur trapper’s illegible fan letter in the early 1900s. $53,  amazon.com

Get the Ax

This United Cutlery M48 Ranger Hawk ax has two razor-sharp stainless-steel heads, a light­-weight nylon-fiberglass handle, and a nifty ballistic fabric case, complete with a compass to help you decide which direction to aim it. $46, amazon.com

Double Cross

The same brand used by The Walking Dead's Daryl Dixon, the Horton Brotherhood crossbow launches arrows at a blistering 305 feet per second. $430, hortonarchery.com