Maxim Goes Down Under

We sent our own Patrick Carone to work at Maxim Australia for two weeks, and they sent us a jar of Vegemite. Turned out to be a pretty even exchange.
MAXIM MAN  |  March 29, 2012By Patrick Carone

We sent our own Patrick Carone (@pjcarone) to work at Maxim Australia for two weeks, and they sent us a jar of Vegemite. Turned out to be a pretty even exchange.

Photo Courtesy of iStock| Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012

My mission was simple: Go to the other side of the world and meet our brothers at the recently launched Maxim Australia. Little did I know that Down Under the land is wild, the partying is wilder, and the women are the wildest (didn’t see that coming, did you?).

Photographed for Maxim by Brian Cassey | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012

I landed in Sydney after a flight that lasted longer than most of my relationships. (And the sweet massage chairs on Qantas provided me with more action than most of my dates.) The first stop, natch, was drinks with the Maxim crew. It was trippy, like meeting the bizarro version of your office. (“Their copy editor looks like our copy editor, but taller! Their IT guy smells like ours, but cabbage-ier!”) The editor-in-chief, Santi, explained that I’d be traveling all around to get the “Yankee perspective” on their country. Considering everything I knew about the place was gleaned from “Crocodile” Dundee movies, INXS lyrics, and Outback Steakhouse commercials, I was more than game to learn about the real Australia. You mean the Bloomin’ Onion isn’t really a national dish?

Photo courtesy of Patrick Carone | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012

When I reported back to Santi, I told him about the wasted townie in picturesque Adelaide who tried to punch my face off, the kangaroo in Barossa Valley’s wine country that thought I was getting between him and his female, and the rousing version of Eminem I karaoked in the lovely seaside town of Port Douglas. He smiled and said, “You ain’t seen nothing yet, mate.” That’s when he called over the girls in the skintight Maxim jumpsuits.

I’d better stop there, before I land on an international most-wanted list. So long, mates!


Photo courtesy of Patrick Carone | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012

Based on the rule of the street, Sydney is now Maxim turf.


Photo courtesy of Patrick Carone | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
Jacob's Creek wine make Patrick smile.


Photographed for Maxim by Ryan Pike | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012

We will refrain from making a joke about “the bush.”


Photographed for Maxim by Ryan Pike | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012

On Bondi Beach, Patrick reenacts Point Break (i.e., he broke both his shin bones).


Photographed for Maxim by Brian Cassey | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012

Ziplining through the Daintree Rainforest...and losing the ability to sire children


Photographed for Maxim by Ryan Pike | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
Staff meetings at Maxim Australia are way more interesting.



Photo courtesy of Patrick Carone | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
Though the toilets were pretty cool, Kangaroo Island's Remarkable Rocks are the real attraction.



Photo courtesy of Patrick Carone | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
South Australia's Honorary Town Crier Tom Bennery shows Patrick a thing or two about beards.


Photo courtesy of Patrick Carone | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
A minute later, this Barossa Valley kangaroo attacked Patrick for his Maxim. Seriously.