You won’t get the complete Olympic experience without first dressing up as a slutty nun.
Everyone knows that the Olympics are as much about what goes on within the stadium walls as the party that rages on the streets afterwards. There are thousands of bars and hundreds of clubs in London, and you know that whole crazy electronic dancing while doing stimulants thing? Yeah. That pretty much started here too. So what happens when you throw an extra million carefree partiers into the heart of the birthplace of the modern club scene? The data from Party Earth suggests that it will be the largest bout of decadence that London has experienced since Henry VIII annulled the sanctity of marriage.
Here are five legendary clubs in the city that’ll have you jumping higher than LeBron James to beats that are faster than Usain Bolt while dancing with more sexy girls than the Brazilian synchronized swimming team (have you seen those twins? Seriously. Check this out right now).
Ministry of Sound
The Ministry of Sound is London’s most renowned club, and one of the most famous super-clubs in the world. On par with the biggest clubs in New York and Ibiza, it’s a trance music lover’s paradise, boasting not only one of the heaviest sound systems in the city but also a visual overload of LED lights, video projections, and strobing light shows. Those looking for the ultimate clubbing experience won’t find any better. And if you don’t mind blowing out your eardrums, climb into The Box, a separate room blocked off by a soundproof entrance that will pound music into your core. But even with its massive interior of half-a-dozen rooms, lounges, and four dance floors, this South Bank venue will fill up quickly – early arrivals are highly recommended. And don’t you dare request Adele.
Music is the name of the game at Fabric, attracting hordes of partiers looking to dance the night away within the spacious, 25,000 square-foot venue. The two-story nightclub brings in A-list DJs spinning every electronic genre, from deep house to the heaviest drum & bass. Located in Camden Town, the heart of London’s hippest social scene, there is never a shortage of attractive locals ready to let loose on the dark and steamy dance floor. Pack a few red bulls and cancel your morning plans, because unlike your dad’s homemade opera cape, this Fabric thumps till sunrise.
With its split-personality disorder and no cover charge, The Shoreditch is the perfect destination for young and old looking to get crazy in style. Located in East London in the Shoreditch neighborhood (what a coincidence), the club has an ultra-cool vibe with an even cooler clientele. Live jazz plays from the top floor where trendy professionals and artists sip cocktails against the kitschy décor. The split-personality begins downstairs, where the Roaring Twenties atmosphere is replaced by a mini-rave of flashing neon LEDs and blasting techno tracks. So grab your tweed jacket and your glow sticks and jump on in to the party like creepy grandpa.
What once used to be a horse hospital is now a popping nightclub that doubles as a vibrant art gallery and live music venue. The artsy crowds flock here to rock out to England’s most popular on-the-rise indie rock and electro artists. Stables in the building have been transformed into semi-private lounge areas while the center turns into a loud and raucous dance floor. Just make a mental note for your future drunk self, reminding him not to stumble into one of the $1,000 dollar photographs that adorn the walls. Throw in a rooftop lounge to chill out on while talking up the latest Olympic news with the cute girl you met downstairs, and Proud Camden could just be the coolest barn party you’ve ever been to.
The Church is the craziest of crazy. You won’t find any priests in this Clapham Grand joint, but you’ll probably find someone dressed as a naughty nun. The Church is home to one of the most unruly parties in London, with so much debauchery occurring within its walls that they’ve been forced to relocate numerous times. The all-day parties on Sundays here often turn into an all-out costume bash of risqué behavior and hard drinking. With its already international mix of denizens, Olympic travellers wanting to release their wild side will feel right at home. Come dressed as your favorite athlete and you’re sure to catch some favorable attention at this crazy club.
For more articles and reviews, go to Party Earth.