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Man Kills Stepfather with Atomic Wedgie

But something foul is afoot. Yes, fouler than suffocating in your own underwear.

(Photo Courtesy of the Pottawatomie County Sheriff’s Office)

It is being reported this week that an Oklahoma man named Denver St. Clair was killed just before Christmas when he was subjected to what the youngsters call an “atomic wedgie,” at the hands of his drunken stepson. For those of you who didn’t spend large amounts of your youth inside a gym locker, an atomic wedgie is when the aggressor pulls your underpants from behind until they are up and over your head. In the case of St. Clair, this heinous act resulted in suffocation by tighty-whitey.

But Brad Lee Davis, the accused wedgie-er, wasn’t simply taken in on underwear-related manslaughter charges. He was booked for straight-up murder, as it turns out he had a history of fighting with his stepfather, and the police found further evidence of a struggle on the scene, including indications that the victim was unconscious when the wedgie was applied (at least he was spared the indignity of knowing he was dying by high school bullying tactic). The man had also reportedly texted a friend earlier saying that he was going to hurt the victim, which we would rank close to the top of the list of “Things You Shouldn’t Do When You’re About to Hurt Someone.”

Let’s all agree to stop the violence before it’s too late and we have to endure a brutal swirlee drowning or someone being noogied to death.

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