The host of Killer Karaoke and professional jackass has one final stunt up his sleeve.
So how do you want to leave this world?
In a plane crash, but only if I’m the most famous person on the plane.
What stunt should have killed you?
Injecting five ounces of vodka into my arm through an IV. That and some of the dumber things I did with lions, bears, and sharks.
When death is no longer something to worry about, what trick would you do?
I just googled “odd ways to die” and read about a guy who died throwing himself against a 24th-floor window to demonstrate that the glass was unbreakable. It didn’t break, but the whole thing popped out. Hilarious!
Do you have any deathbed confessions?
In 1998 I crapped my pants at an all-you-can-eat restaurant in Albuquerque named CiCi’s and then hid my shit-covered underwear in the upper tank of the toilet.
Which Jackass stunts are unfortunate souls forced to repeat in hell?
What song is karaoke-d over and over in hell?
I made a rap album that never came out. Pick a track.
What’s your last meal?
Sour Patch Kids.
While you were alive, what did you spend the most money on?
Probably drugs and alcohol, but maybe lawsuits.
Name one thing you’re glad you’ll never have to do again on Earth.
I’ve got my fingers crossed that I won’t have to deal with any more drugs, alcohol, or lawsuits.
What’s the wildest thing you ever did while you were alive?
Getting choked completely unconscious six times, back-to-back, in a single afternoon.
What is your biggest regret? Letting Mike Tyson break your nose?
Not having been better about flossing my teeth. Flossing, dude—it’s really crucial.
What lady of MTV fame have you always wanted to sleep with?
Tila Tequila. Just kidding.
With all the stuff you’ve put up your butt over the years, is there anything you’d want to stick up there one last time?
I always wanted our Jackass movies to win an Oscar so I could stick it up my butt during our acceptance speech. I think I could at least get its head up there without a problem.
Which member of your Jackass crew would you least like to be stuck with in the afterlife, and why?
I’m sure I’ll be too happy about getting the whole crew back together again to think of excluding anyone.
What is your proudest accomplishment?
Approaching middle age without ever having grown up.
Got any last words?
Look, Ma, no hands!
Killer Karaoke airs Fridays at 9 p.m. on truTV.
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