Hawaii Five-O
The setting means plenty of purty gurlies in tiny 'kinis; the surf-side 'tude similarly lends itself to easy modern-day translation. Plus, it'd be so, so nice to view a procedural detective drama whose entire existence doesn’t hinge on the gathering of semen evidence at ripped-from-the-headlines crime scenes.




The Waltons
Remember how they updated The Honeymooners on the big screen with Cedric the Entertainer and Mike Epps? HUGE laughs. Three words for you then: The. Black. Waltons. Bernie Mac as the patriarch, one of the kids from The Wire as John Boy—this thing practically casts itself.



Profit
Nobody remembers this one, in which a pre-Heroes Adrian Pasdar played what might have been TV’s first Tony Soprano/Vic Mackey–ish antihero: Jim Profit, a corporate sort inclined to beat, blackmail, intimidate, or otherwise neutralize anybody who gets in his way. Dark comedy doesn’t play all that well on network TV, but any of the cable or pay channels could pull this one off with aplomb.




The Adventures of Brisco County Jr.
It was a sci-fi show. It was a western. It was a comedy. It was… all three! Plus, you gotta love any TV show, movie, musical, Kabuki performance, or Internet viral doohickey that prominently features Bruce Campbell, even without the buckets of blood and sloppily cleaved torsos.






M*A*S*H
War = funny! Make this happen, liberal Hollywood.