Emily's Reasons Why Not (2006)
Neither of Heather Graham's size-34C reasons were convincing enough to save this show about a self-help author who—get this!—can't find sanity in her own wacky love life. ABC axed it after a single airing, but should have kept swinging till they drew scriptwriter blood.


Anchorwoman (2007)
You know a show's crap when it's replaced by reruns of 'Til Death. This quasi-reality show about The Price Is Right's former Barker's Beauty and her attempts at being a newscaster debuted one night at 8 PM and was canceled the next morning. Would it have killed a Fox exec to stay up past his bedtime and can it that night?


Skin (2003)
Can the love between a porn kingpin's daughter and a district attorney's son survive the odds? No idea, because this Romeo and Juliet knockoff was sacked (no pun intended!) after three episodes. Unfortunately, it did air just long enough to ruin our happy memories of Ron Silver's work on Veronica's Closet.


The Book of Daniel (2006)
A small-town priest hooked on painkillers has an alcoholic wife and a gay Republican son. Promising, right? Yeah, till Jesus comes to town to buzz-kill the church's interpretations of his Word. Shockingly, NBC affiliates didn't want to air this one, and four chapters later The Book of Daniel was old testament. Who could've seen that coming? (Jesus, that's who.)


Jonny Zero (2005)
Now that he's out of Sing Sing after four years, Jonny Calvo's old boss is trying to lure him back to a life of crime, the FBI wants him to wear a wire, and Jonny must prove to his ex-wife that... You know what? Describing this show is more painful than watching all eight episodes. Moving on!


Andy Barker, P.I. (2007)
We gave this one an over/under of 3.5 episodes, but it somehow lasted six. It pains us to diss a show executive-produced by Conan O'Brien, but someone should've warned him that giving a starring role to old pal Andy Richter is like having Joey Fatone front your boy band.


Love Monkey (2006)
Oh, guy who played Ed on Ed... We had such high hopes for you. Instead, you played a "hip" music executive on a show that should never have lasted three episodes, let alone the five more that aired on VH1. And don't go blaming costar Jason Priestley or guest star James Blunt—they're war veterans, for God's sake!


Viva Laughlin (2007)
Did nobody learn from Cop Rock? This "mystery drama musical" somehow made it two episodes—just long enough to watch Hugh Jackman (an executive producer) perform an unforgettable rendition of "Sympathy for the Devil." How's that for a silver lining?


Who's Your Daddy? (2005)
This abomination should never have aired the one time it did. Not because having an adoptee try to pick out her biological father from a group of 25 random dudes was so offensive, but because Maury Povich has been selflessly doing this crap for years. Show some respect!


Drive (2007)
Like Cannonball Run, except not funny, successful, or good, this story of an illegal cross-country race with a grand prize of $32 million defied the odds (and logic) by hanging on for six episodes. But some good news for ye of little taste: For some reason you can buy episodes of Drive on iTunes.